more than rubies

A New Look.

2009-12-29T16:08:00.001-05:00

In an effort to simplify the technological aspects of my life, I have consolidated my blogs into one blog via WordPress. Although I am slowly working on changing all those white-fonted posts to black font, all the previous posts are on my new blog... here's the address and the link for A Way in the Desert:

awayinthedesert.wordpress.com

Enjoy! See you there!

Woman.

2009-08-23T20:24:00.002-04:00

You don't need a man by your side to validate you as a woman. You already are loved and valued. You're good enough exactly as you are. Do you believe this? Because it's true. You have limitless worth and value. If you embrace this truth, it will affect every area of life, especially your relationship with men.

You are worth dying for.

...there is a mystery to you, infinite depth and endless complexity...

Your strength is a beautiful thing. And when you live in it, when you carry yourself with the honor and dignity that are yours. It forces the men around you to relate to you on more than just a flesh level.

You are worth dying for.

When you live in your true identity, when you find your worth and value in your Creator, when you live "in Christ," in who you really are, you force him to rethink what it means to be a man.

Excerpts from Sex God, by Rob Bell

Deep Unto Deep

2009-08-16T18:43:00.002-04:00

"And O God, give me one grace, I pray. Give me the grace to give myself in prayer once again tomorrow. To believe that it matters. To put my heart before You though I feel so unproductive and unfruitful. Give me the grace to spend tomorrow once more before You in love. For I can think of no more noble way to spend a day than to spend it with You, whether I feel Your nearness or not. Oh, help me in the times of fainting. Give me the grace for one more day."

"The Lord does not despise our weakness as we so often imagine. He is not caught off-guard by our frailty. Quite the contrary, as Creator and Savior, He loves and enjoys the process of our finding our strength in Him and learning to lean into Him. It is in our weakness that His strength is made perfect (2 Cor. 12:9), and it is out of weakness that we are made strong (Heb. 11:34). he has set up His kingdom with the inclusion of our weakness. . . [He] embraces us in this place as He beckons us to continually lift our weak voice and our weak gaze in prayer and communion with Him."

excerpts from Deep Unto Deep, by Dana Candler

One Set of Footprints.

2009-08-09T12:17:00.003-04:00

You know those days when you wake up and just want to go back to bed, for maybe if you sleep again, things will be different when you wake up? Certainly it's not a frequent occurrence, but it is still that: an occurrence. Or, maybe you didn't sleep well, emotions are high and unruly, and everything is going exactly how you did not plan it: the computer won't load quickly, the email account flops around, your hair didn't "do," you're running late, the juice spills. And now it's raining.

Something that thing you thought was over still creeps into and seeps into your thoughts so often and then rears it's ugly head at the most inopportune times. It is the only earthly thing known to fail me not. Maybe I'm moody, just like today's weather. But, maybe I'm just tired of this too. Tired of trying to be the strong one all the time; tired of reminding myself to learn from this season; tired of trying to have faith that everything is for my good; tired of keeping the feelings down. Tired of the up and down and all-around tug-of-war-type dance with my emotions. Maybe I'm ready for a new season of life. . . I've been trying to learn from this season, trying to learn all I can about patience, contentment, and faith despite utter confusion, but I'm getting so frustrated and worn out.

And yet we add on the most recent confusion-producing moments. Why must these random things happen to me? Why must I feel the results of others' coincidental mistakes that I should have never known about? What are You teaching me, Lord? Why don't I seem to learn the lesson, get the picture? Why must the paths of learning patience, faith, and contentment be so stinkin' difficult and cause so many tears?

Yet, I know that the Lord is faithful to lead me through anything He allows me to experience. He is faithful when I am faithless, and He is strong when I am weak because of the long, unending journey. Even when life does not seem to fit with "everything working together for my good," I know that Jehovah Jireh is my Provider for all that I could ever need.

Perhaps this is just a time that I will look back on and see only one set of footprints. And that's okay with me.

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury. ~E.H. Chapin

As We Prepare to Travel

2009-06-10T20:33:00.002-04:00

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrowmindedness... Broad, wholesome, charitable views of persons and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."
- Mark Twain

I saw this quote in the front of a book on Paraguay and thought it was a good thought to ponder as we prepare to travel to cultures unlike our own and as we encourage those we meet.

Wrapping Up.

2009-04-24T21:02:00.002-04:00

I have one final left in my junior year of nursing school.

After that, it's the beginning of a wonderful season of new and refreshing. I've grown weary from the challenges and facts of life recently; school is demanding, leaving no time to work through the loss of my dear Grandma. I'm looking forward to a few days of relaxation and laid-back moments next week... I'm hoping to have some time to journal, listen to music, nap, think, daydream.

This year has been so good, so hard, and so draining. I learned so much, but it was so much in such a short time period, with additional things to deal with (like planning a summer trip and grieving the loss of my last living grandparent). I'm looking forward to being home, having my own space, resting, reviewing for NCLEX (it's only one year away now!). This summer will be a different summer, but a good one, I'm sure.

But, at this moment, I need to study for my Public Health Nursing clinical final. It's only a few days away!

Vision of You

2009-03-18T18:32:00.003-04:00

Come meet us, King Jesus
Oh wind of change blow through this temple
Sweet Spirit of God, come and mend our hearts
For all we have are songs
Unless You come

Awaken what’s inside of me
Tune my heart to all You are in me
Even though You’re here God come
And may the vision of You
Be the death of me
And even though you’ve given everything
Jesus come

Come free us, King Jesus
It’s the only way that freedom’s given
From You and You alone
In the work You’ve already done
For all we have are songs,
Unless You come

Awaken what’s inside of me
Tune my heart to all You are in me
Even though You’re here God come
And may the vision of You
Be the death of me
And even though you’ve given everything
Jesus come

Here we are, Lord
In this place
Crying out for
Your embrace
To hear Your voice
More than songs
Please come
Jesus come

Vision of You

Shane and Shane

Wait

2009-02-18T08:17:00.001-05:00

Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate.
And the Master so gently said, "Child you must wait"

"Wait? You say wait!" my indignant reply
"Lord, I need answers. I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By FAITH I have asked, and am claiming your Word."

"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign."

"And Lord you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall recieve.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait"
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel and his eyes wept with mine
And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run".

"All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want--but you wouldnt know ME.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

"You'd not learn to see through the clouds of dispair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save...(for a start)
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night.
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

"You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee'.
Yes your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true.
But, oh the loss! if I lost what I'm doing in you!

"So, be silent, my child and in time you will see
THAT THE GREATEST OF GIFTS IS TO GET TO KNOW ME.
And though oft may my answers seem terribly late,
My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT"

Russell Kelfer

The Nobility of Barren Prayer

2009-01-21T20:51:00.002-05:00

And O God, give me one grace, I pray. Give me the grace to give myself in prayer once again tomorrow. To believe that it matters. To put my heart before You though I feel so unproductive and unfruitful. Give me the grace to spend tomorrow once more before You in love. For I can think of no more noble way to spend a day than to spend it with You, whether I feel Your nearness or not. Oh, help me in the times of fainting. Give me the grace for one more day.

Excerpt from Deep Unto Deep, a book by Dana Candler about "finding the richness of intimacy we were made for."

Accept Your Lot---For Now.

2008-12-19T22:09:00.001-05:00

"When God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work--this is a gift of God." Ecclesiastes 5:19 NIV

When I was feeling somewhat down and depressed over a disappointing situation that I faced recently, the Lord led me to some wisdom from His Word that helped me to see things from a new perspective. First, He showed me a verse from Ecclesiastes 5:19 (NIV), which says that one of the gifts of God is for someone to "accept his lot." Although I was certain that God was speaking to me, everything inside of me resisted the idea of my accepting my situation as it was. After all, I'm a woman of faith, a Word-filled believer, who strives for supernatural victory in every circumstance. Why should I accept less than God's best in any situation? When I got quiet in my spirit enough to allow myself to discern the Lord's "still, small voice," I realized that He was telling me, "Accept your lot--for now." As He led me next to His instructions in Colossians 3:15 (NIV), I began to understand His logic: "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since...you were called to peace. And be thankful." I definitely had lost my peace because of my disheartening situation, and I was having difficulty being thankful. And I was fully aware that my attitude and my perspective were displeasing to God.

Since I've spent so many years studying the Word of God, and doing my best to apply it to my life, I've come to believe with all my heart that the Lord wants us to prosper and succeed in every area. But I also believe that He wants us to be satisfied and content with our present circumstances, while we wait on Him to lead us into better things. This kind of waiting doesn't mean that we're passive and apathetic. It means that we actively pray and stand in faith for His very best outcome in our situation. And in the process, we maintain an attitude of gratitude, and a sense of peace. Scripture says: "Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God." (Philippians 4:6 AMP) It's perfectly okay for us to "continue to make [our] wants known to God" when we are in a disappointing situation, but we must do it with hearts filled with gratitude for what He's already done in our lives. The next verse in this passage says: "And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7 AMP) As we decide to be "content with [our] earthly lot," we will experience the peace of mind and heart that will enable us to go on and enjoy our lives while we wait for the Lord to act on our behalf.

Never being satisfied with our circumstances not only robs us of our peace, but it steals our joy, which the Bible says is our strength. (Nehemiah 8:10) Then we become weak and weary over even the littlest things. We lose our focus. And we become unfruitful. It's hard for us to pray, or to walk in faith. Our lack of satisfaction begins to consume us, and it eventually affects our relationships and our health. Scripture says: "Be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support." (Hebrews 13:5 AMP) This is the Lord's reassurance that no matter how our situation looks, we have not been abandoned by our Creator and Sustainer. As long as we areg looking to Him to meet our needs, we can be sure that His help is on the way. The apostle Paul wrote: "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT) Being grateful and content with our circumstances opens the door to divine blessings, rewards, and opportunities. On the other hand, a lack of satisfaction and gratitude will stall us on the path to God's perfect plans and purposes for us. If you are in a disappointing place right now, I encourage you to make a quality decision to get joyful and thankful right where you are. Believe God for better things--and open the door to the peace and provision that belong to you in Christ!

(Devotional by J.M. Farro)

::Strive::

2008-11-11T17:14:00.002-05:00

2 Corinthians 6:4-10

Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

Give Me Your Eyes

2008-11-03T22:39:00.001-05:00

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights

My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere,
Why have I never cared?

Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me Your love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Yeah
Yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what's underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?

Chorus

I've been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all along

Chorus (x2)

Give Me Your Eyes, Brandon Heath

Hmmmm, yessssss.

According to Webster.

2008-11-01T22:15:00.001-04:00

weary.

exhausted in strength, endurance, vigor, or freshness.

having one's patience, tolerance, or pleasure exhausted.

I'm Not Who I Was

2008-10-21T10:54:00.001-04:00

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was

I'm Not Who I Was, Brandon Heath

Hmmmm. Yesssss.

Groanings. Or Gibberish?

2008-10-20T21:36:00.004-04:00

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

The passage says the Spirit intercedes for us when we are too weak to know how to pray. He intercedes not because we simply don't pray---but when we don't know how to pray.
Imagine this poignant scene. The child of God musters her last bit of strength to collapse before the throne of God. Words do not come---just groanings. . . The Spirit of God searches her heart, gathers her pain, and lifts it to the Father of all comfort. The Spirit of God, knowing both the depth of her agony and the will of the Father, can bring forth glory from even this. He insists that the Father usher overflowing comfort. He urges the child to let the Father have His way. He prays for things she could not bear to pray---that she lacks the courage to pray. He prays for glory.

(Whispers of Hope, Beth Moore)

There are those things, those dates, those memories that nobody knows about. Or maybe a few people do, or maybe they've forgotten just like I almost forgot---until it hits hard and heavy. Those times when we're not sure how to pray. Those times when we're so excited but so confused. . . and absolutely impatient in every sense. Trust. Wait. Why?!

I'm beginning to see a purpose in the mountain I crashed into earlier this year. The last few months have been an incredible, personal journey of discovery, calling and sparked interests. It's difficult to describe in a few paragraphs what has changed, what visions have changed, how the focus has changed, how the heart of the matter has changed. . . But, life is no longer focused on me and getting my life right. . . These days I am feeling so antsy to be beyond these institutional walls. . . I'm feeling more and more ready to be working, serving, living . . . living Christ's love, living as a citizen of another kingdom.

But the mountain is still there. The wish for a teammate is still there. More evident on some days, like today, than on others. I still don't know how to pray. Praying for God's will, yes. But, also feeling the necessity to pray honestly.

And hoping that there is some type of translation happening to this gibberish running through my mind.

Love Them Like Jesus

2008-10-16T09:48:00.002-04:00

The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus,
carry her to Him
His yoke is easy,
His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus

Love Them Like Jesus, Casting Crowns

Citizens of another Kingdom, this should be our aim: to love like Jesus.

Perseverance. Continued.

2008-10-04T12:35:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I wish life didn't require perseverance. But, I guess we wouldn't learn, we wouldn't grow, we wouldn't become more Christ-like. It sure can be frustrating, though! This week was a challenging week; it was difficult to remain positive (I failed at that many times). . . for some reason a bitter or negative attitude, one full of complaints, just seems easier than the effort required to be positive.

Anyway, this week an opportunity to encouragement someone came during my clinical experience of observation in the OR and post-op recovery room (or PACU, for you medical professionals). I had the opportunity to watch an emergency surgery which was fascinating, but the circumstances surrounding the surgery were sad. However, I stayed with the patient during post-op, I could hold a hand, listen when the patient wanted to talk, and just be a quiet presence. But, it quickly became evident that the patient was a Christian. The patient was obviously sad and grieving, but the patient still recognized and testified that God is sovereign and uses all of our struggles to minister to others.

Wow. I was blessed and challenged. How the patient could find the strength to be an encouragement to others despite the circumstances was incredible. It also put my troubles into perspective, and reinforced to me the importance of reaching out to others despite our busyness, our struggles, our heartaches. It reminded of the healing that can come from taking the focus off of ourselves and putting the focus back on God, the author of all of our days.

Also, last weekend, one of the Cedarville '08 graduates was killed in a car accident. Obviously a shock to everyone, but in chapel two friends of the student shared that the verses marked by the ribbon in her Bible were Psalm 103: 13-17a

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him...

Alongside the verses, she had written something like "Life is short---live for eternity" (I can't remember the exact words, but it was enough to bring goosebumps and tears!) How minor my troubles seem in comparison to some and, in the midst of it all, God uses every moment to challenge us and encourage us. I am not guaranteed tomorrow or next week or after graduation, so how I am living today that brings glory to God?

Remembering that requries perseverance.

Take a Breath.

2008-10-01T20:33:00.002-04:00

Nothing profound. It's just that I'm coming the end of my 7th week here at school, it's already October, clinical rotations are about to change, and fall break is in two weeks.

And there has barely been time for breathing.

'Tis life, I suppose; but somehow this part of life seems wicked fast---and yet I find myself wishing this stage would hurry up and end at the same time? What am I thinking. . . wishing an even faster-paced life on myself?!

There are parts of life I wish were different. Lord, teach me to treasure this time, this moment, this day. . . instead of always looking for that time, that moment, that day. Take these worries, these cares and use them for Your glory. Teach me to take time for You, to set aside time for You. Mold these desires, these deep wants. . . take them and prepare them for Your purposes. . . prepare them to be used as vessels of Your love.

And, while I wait. . .

Enough.

You are enough for me.

When Perseverance Pays Off.

2008-09-28T11:00:00.002-04:00

The last several weeks I have been battling some kind of respiratory bug (that's my medically-correct terminology coming out ; ) ). The first two weeks a cold settled into my chest and caused hacking coughs for two weeks. Ugh. Then I had a few days of peace and wellness until---whamo! a sore throat, a sniffles that quickly turned into a head cold. Double ugh. Finally that cold is on it's way out... I'm down to only a few sniffles each day!

But, because life is so demanding, busy, and fast-paced right now I have no option except hang onto the ride for dear life clutching homework in one hand and a tissue box in the other hand. It has been difficult to not be able to take the time to "lay low" and re-energize. Yet, once again, God's faithfulness becomes evident in each day.

I can't do this on my own. It's been one of the biggest realizations this semester. I can do my part, but without God's guidance, strength and forgiveness, I simply will not make it to the end of nursing school. He alone is the solid Rock on which I will push through these next two years.

The last several weeks have been difficult and even discouraging as I realized that the standards I previously put on myself simply wouldn't been attainable this semester. Despite hard work, the results weren't good. But, this week I saw God's hand in so many things: amazing power naps that re-energized me after clinicals; that extra boost of energy to study for several hours despite "working" a full day at clinicals; time management and prioritizing that I didn't know I had in me; feeling like I understood material "inside and out." And He chose to show His power through the great results He enabled me to get this week. It was a welcome encouragement; hey, I can do this after all. It will take work and maybe not match up to my standards of previous years, but that's okay. He's helping me to conquer (and learn!) this information.

I'm learning that perseverance doesn't mean getting the perfect score, the best grade, the highest praise. Perseverance means doing what we can, with what we have, where we are, with a attitude that brings glory to Christ. Too many times I become focused on what I can't do instead of what I can do and how I can do it. Perseverance means being faithful to do our part, while relying on His strength and trusting that He will bring to completion what He has started. He has a reason for me to be here; He has a purpose for me to be spending four years doing this.

Perseverance means giving the glory back to God as He enables us and strengthens us.

Power Outage Perseverance

2008-09-20T21:06:00.002-04:00

God provided an extra ounce of refreshment this week, an extra boost to tired spirits and overwhelmed brains. When the power went out last Sunday, we were forced to take a break: no email, no internet, no movies. . . just people and conversations, books and time with Jesus. Actually, this week I only had two days of classes---which was a huge blessing! This coming week I have two huge tests that are looming over my head, so the extra time last week was an added bonus: more time to study and relax.

This week I realized the importance of peace and quiet in the midst of a stressful and daunting semester. I often don't have time to relax for very long because of the never-ending to-do list of this semester. It's not that I'm trying to hide behind my books. . . it's that I almost don't have any other option. Thankfully, studying with other people is essential for learning this type and volume of information, so the social end of things isn't necessarily lacking. Plus, it's been fun to get to know some people I only knew on a first-name-basis before!

Also, because of the lighter schedule this week, I was able to find some time to encourage several friends who needed it. Again, it was through notes of encouragement and assuring them of my prayers. It's easy for me to forget that even though I can't offer someone time, I can still pray for them throughout my day. Often, my mind begins running in overdrive as soon as the alarm clock goes off and I am immediately submerged in all of my own problems, responsibilities and cares. But, this week the Lord gently reminded me of the power of prayer. . . the power of prayer in healing, in encouragement and in strength.

He is always faithful, always lavishing blessings upon us. . . even lavishing power outages to emphasize those blessings! : )

I Want to Be Like You

2008-09-17T22:16:00.002-04:00

It's not about me. It's about You.

It's not about us. It's about You reaching them, through us, Your vessels.

Thank You for this change in focus.

I Want to Be Like You, FFH

When I'm down, You are up for me
When I frown, You have a smile for me
And when I'm weak, You are strong for me
You are there for me
You're always there for me

When I fall, You will catch me
When I call, You're quick to answer me
And when I weep, You will weep with me
You are there for me
You're always there for me

(And I want to be like You)
Take my cross and follow after You
(I want to be like You)
Speak the truth in everything I do
(I want to be like You)
Leave the many to go and find the few
(I want to be like You)
I want to be like You

When I thirst, You will quench me
When I hunger, You are the bread for me
When I kneel, you already heard me
You are there for me
You're always there for me

Chorus

When I cried, You were there, You heard my call
When I fell, You were there, You saw it all
On my knees, You came and rescued me
And now in everything I say and do
I want to be just like you

Chorus

Perseverance: Anything Left to Give?

2008-09-13T12:00:00.002-04:00

This week has been absolutely draining in so many ways. Constant responsibilities. . . huge demands of time, effort and emotions. . . tasks, test, or projects that seem practically impossible. No end in sight to this constant requirement of energy, during which you're still supposed to have time to "relax and have fun." We are feeling like we are being stretched as thin as possible. It has been difficult to limit the complaining, squelch the bitterness, and let go of the human desire to have to do everything on my own.

I can't do it by myself.

I reached that point late this week. The complete and utter realization that I simply will not survive this semester if I try to do this on my own. I'm going to have to do my part, but recognize God's strength and His control of the outcomes. Although it can be hard for me to remember, He is even in control of tests that may ruin GPAs and make the scholarships disappear, hence meaning even more loans---something that is not cool think about right now. The standards I place on myself will have to flex this semester, possibly this whole year. I'm just going to have to do what I can, and be satisfied with that. And having satisfaction in grades that are lower than what I like to see will require perseverance.

In the midst of this absolute insanity though it's been refreshing to be able to encourage several people. Last Sunday and this week I was able to write several notes to people. It can be difficult to sacrifice some of my time to pour into someone else's life. . . but it is so refreshing too! Trust me, I know that it would be easier to stay focused on my to-do list---I am still trying to catch up on reading, so why in the world would I sacrifice a few moments to minister to someone else? Encouragement, a part of the servant lifestyle that I am still learning about, has an incredible knack for shifting your focus from yourself and your mountain of problems to someone else and their needs. Even if you can't meet their needs immediately (or ever) or tangibly, a bit of encouragement, a little note, a smile can truly brighten a day or give that extra boost that is needed.

We must allow God to use us as vessels of His love. . . even when we ourselves feel like we are barely managing to keep up.

Plodding Along.... is that perseverance?

2008-09-06T16:41:00.002-04:00

This past week held an interesting course of events. Throughout the week my mind was also pulled in many different directions. I needed to contact some people before my parents and I could make a decision about my possible trip to Peru and Paraguay next summer. This week I felt like I was juggling too many plates, and trying not to let any of them fall. School is extremely demanding right now, but the debate between an externship and the Peru trip was also a big decision hanging over me. Thankfully, the hard work put into the Pharmacology test paid off and that test is now behind me.

It has still be difficult to find time to look to other people's needs in the midst of my own life's craziness. But, I am trying to make that time---to find that one person that might need a bit of extra encouragement in their week---even though I have things to do. There will always be things to do though, so I can't always say "when I have time..."

However, in the midst of all of the work, I have been trying to diligently use my time to get things (specifically homework) accomplished in adequate time. So far this year, I have been able to get my homework done by Sunday, so that I can truly rest on Sundays. And, that has been wonderful! It takes a lot of commitment throughout the earlier part of the week, and especially on Friday nights and Saturdays when other people are doing things that sound much more fun than books and papers. But, when Sunday rolls around and there is nothing academic on my to-do list, it's an amazing feeling!

In church last Sunday, the message was about loving people out of Christ's love, with a love like His. It reminded me of perseverance because the pastor challenged us that genuine love isn't what it means to love someone who is easy to get along with; genuine love is when we love someone who is difficult to love. He said that the very person we do not want to show love towards is the very person God wants us to love.

That takes perseverance, doesn't it? Intentional love. Just a bonus thought. : )

Finally, an update!! After doing our research and talking to several people, my parents and I decided that I will move forward with plans to go to Peru and Paraguay next summer! I am tremendously excited about the trip, and I am looking forward to seeing God's faithfulness and provision in the next several months as people support me financially----that's a huge prayer request!!

Perseverance. Oh my.

2008-08-28T16:22:00.004-04:00

I realized this week that perseverance is required more for this semester than I thought. I realized that I need a high level of perseverance to go to an 8 hour shift of clinical (essentially a work day), come home and complete 6 to 7 hours of homework. It would be so much easier to push all the homework out the window, either figuratively or literally.

...of course, that's until a week later when I'm behind and buried under more reading than I can imagine.

I have enjoyed my classes, especially since each class is so applicable and intertwined at this point. Medications and anatomy talked about in one class are also covered in another class, and applied in clinicals. It's an exciting change from solid lecture. But it also comes with the responsibility to learn and master a lot of information... which can lead to information overload... thus the lack of motivation to sit and study for hours after a full day of classes or clinicals.

Perseverance means continuing to study even when I feel like I can't... perseverance means only taking a 15 or 30 minute nap when I would rather spend 3 afternoon hours in dreamland... perseverance means working ahead even though the syllabus says that reading assignment isn't due for another 2 days... perseverance means limiting an email/Facebook/blog break to 10 minutes instead of a half hour...

So, in hopes of guarding against feeling completely overwhelmed, I will need to work consistently during the entire week, and manage my time wisely on weekends too. I really want to keep Sundays as a day of rest, so I'm hoping that will provide an extra ounce of motivation.

At the same time though I don't want to burn out. So I'm trying to include those things that will provide some relaxation... trying to leave the dorm room door open in case someone needs to talk... trying to be efficient in completing my work so that I can talk or listen to someone on spur-of-the-moment notice without feeling distracted by the need to do homework... trying to manage my time so that I can make time for journaling, Jesus and prayer.

Speaking of prayer... I would appreciate prayer for a decision I will need to make in the near future (i.e. as soon as possible). As if school wasn't enough to think about, I also need to work through my plans for next summer.

I am trying to decide between doing a nursing externship at a local hospital or going to Peru to serve with a missionary family for about a month. In Peru I would probably have the opportunity to spend some time doing medical/nursing missions at a clinic or similar setting. The problem enlies in that the missions trip is in the middle of the summer, and the externship is 8 weeks long---so I can't do both. I'm praying and trying to weigh both options in light of the more distant future. So, I would really appreciate prayers for clarity about where God wants me to serve next summer. Also, I'd appreciate any thoughts or opinions or suggestions any of you have on whether I should go to Peru or stay at home and do the externship.

Thanks for listening. and thanks for your thoughts too; I like reading them! : )

Perseverence in the face of the unknown.

2008-08-22T15:20:00.004-04:00

(A little bit of background: each semester Cedarville Nursing students focus on a different character quality listed in 2 Peter 1:5-8. We write a paper and reflect on growth in that particular area of life.)

Perseverance is quite the appropriate character quality to be reflecting on and focusing on this semester. Right now the future (i.e. this next week... I know, short future) seems daunting and overwhelming, like a big 'ol black storm cloud looming overhead. While I think (I hope) a few days of experience in clinical setting will help with affirming expectations and responsibilities I'm caught in a whirl of questions... what will I really be doing? Was working as an aide really that helpful? Are we going to have to do things we don't know yet? and on and on... When I think of the word perseverance, I often associate it with a difficult situation of somekind, or a circumstance requiring an extra ounce of determination.

However, last night I read a devotional by Beth Moore from her book, "Whispers of Hope." She challenges us to consider the stress and distraction we face when we feel like we have to "do it all." Sometimes we are even buried under things that are all "good." But, she reminds us, the most important thing is to focus on a few things, or persevere, and do those few things for the glory of God.

Since hearing the phrase, Soli Deo Gloria, I've always appreciated the reminder: whose glory is my life for? God's and God's alone. Not my reputation, not my transcript, not my resume but God's glory. So, if we are persevering in the things He calls us to, even if it's only a few things or even only one thing, we are glorifying Him. At times I feel like I'm wrapped up in school, with only a few snatches of time to do anything else. But, I need to remember to persevere in school, for that is where Christ has me, for a reason. And while it might seem mediocre, or just fulfilling "requirements," I have to remind myself that persevering in school also glorifies God.

I need to remember to take each week one day at a time. To continue with strong determination and hope, but recognize my need for His strength and mercy each day.

P.S. Here is that devotional... it's just too good to not post! (By Beth Moore)

In two short phrases the apostle Paul practically wrote a thesis on simplification. For every one of us who ever wondered where to draw the line, juggled too many balls at once, or had trouble making up our mind, Paul offers a timely simplification: "Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." We differ in talents, gifts, and resources, but the hands of time strangle us all. We desperately need a time management course--but who can fit it in?

When our beloved Michael was little, he loved to "help" me grocery shop. Once he begged me to buy our dogs a large bag of rawhide bones. His face was so animated that I agreed, but when we arrived home I forgot about the purchase. Michael--always quite a sneak--slipped the bag out without my noticing. Later that day a strange commotion in the backyard seized my attention. Our dog, Sunny, was hopping frantically in every direction, kicking up more grass than a weed eater, and panting as if she were fighting for her last few breaths. When I walked out to investigate, I heard Michael laughing mischievously, and then I saw them--at least a hundred "bones" scattered all over the backyard. Sunny was frenzied. So little time--so many bones!

Don't get be wrong. I'm not "dogging" us for trying. Most of our "bones" are good ones. We've just got too many to chew. In our attempt to do a hundred good things, we may not do any of them well. We're caught in the captivity of activity--hopping frantically in every direction, tongues dragging and lungs panting. We're dog tired.

God never meant for us to live frenzied lives. Backbreaking schedules are not His idea. How can we, believers in Christ, restructure our lives and find a little refreshment?

- Reestablish the goal. Isaiah 43:7 tells us we were created for His glory. The purpose of our brief journey on this planet is to glorify God. He desires for us to pour the best of our energies into God works. Go back to the basics.
- Redirect your focus. Matthew 6:33 makes a revolutionary promise. If we seek God first, He will direct our schedules and help us to discern His priorities through the work of the Holy Spirit. Give the Matthew 6:33 approach a try! It really works!
- Rethink your motivation. Galatians 1:10 prompts us to ask ourselves if any of our activities are seeking man's approval rather than God's. If we seek to please people rather than God, rules will constantly change and expectations will soar.
- Rest in God's will. Hebrews 4:10 says, "Anyone who enters God's rest also rest from his own work."

Sounds wonderful doesn't it? God is not unreasonable. He does not heap on stress and then refuse to grant us rest. None of us can do one hundred things to the glory of God. Let's find rest in His will and do a few things well.

Restructuring.

2008-08-12T21:24:00.001-04:00

Lord, right now, I surrender every aspect of my life to You, including all of my relationships. I ask that You help me to restructure my priorities, so they will please and glorify You in every way. When I am tempted to become fearful, depressed, or disappointed, remind me that You are "El Shaddai"--"The God of More Than Enough." I praise You that You are more than enough to meet every single need I'll ever have in this life!

Part of a devotional by J.M. Farro

Stronger Together.

2008-08-10T22:16:00.002-04:00

We watched the production of "In the Beginning" at Sight and Sound Theatre a few days ago, and one realization became even more evident throughout the show, especially in Adam and Eve's pre-fall relationship. They were constantly singing and saying how much the other blessed them, complimented them and strengthened them. It was a beautiful picture of how marriage is meant to be, how it is designed to be. Uniting two people who are good apart, but stronger and better together, stronger for the glory of God.

I would really like to be married some day. And more than anything related to a certain status, look, job, background, qualification, or personality trait I desire to married to someone because we are better together. I want to marry someone who I can work with for God's glory. I have so many ideas of how that might look or play out, so it's difficult to surrender. I long for the purpose of that relationship and marriage to be for His glory. It's amazing to imagine the joy of living for His glory and bringing others closer to Him so that He may redeem, heal and move; bringing them closer to Him so that they may, one day, experience the intense and satisfying intimacy of a relationship with the greatest Lover of all time.

Legacy

2008-07-31T23:42:00.003-04:00

Amen. I want to leave that kind of legacy.

(Legacy, Nichole Nordeman)

Learning How to Bend

2008-07-14T11:35:00.001-04:00

I'm still learning how to pray
Trying hard not to stray
Try to see things your way
I'm still learning how to pray
I'm still learning how to trust
It's so hard to open up
And I'd do anything for us
I'm still learning how to trust

Chorus:
I'm still learning how to bend
How to let you in
In a world full of tears
We'll conquer all our fears
I'm still learning how to fly
I wanna take you higher
I'll be there till the end
I'll be your lover and your friend
I'm still learning how to bend

I'm just trying to understand
It's all in someone else's hands
There's always been a bigger plan
But I don't need to understand

Chorus:
I'm still learning how to bend
How to let you in
In a world full of tears
We'll conquer all our fears
I'm still learning how to fly
I wanna take you higher
I'll be there till the end
I'll be your lover and your friend
I'm still learning how to bend

I'll be there till the end
I'll be your lover and your friend
I'm still learning how to bend
I'm still learning how to bend
I'll be there till the end
I'm still learning how to bend

Learning How To Bend, Gary Allan

Got humility?

2008-07-06T11:37:00.003-04:00

This struck me this morning. A lesson, or rather a song, on humility. . . living like Jesus means learning to be humble.

This week has held several firsts, but yesterday's first was the hardest.

I didn't know what to say, what to talk about. It was easiest to just say hi and leave it at that. I wish I could have been humble enough to admit that, yes this is awkward, but also silly. I wish I would have been humble but not so shy or scared.

I failed at being humble enough to recognize that there is another person involved in this, probably with his own uncertainties and hurts.

There's reasons, there's excuses, but it's time for me to, once again, give this burden to Jesus and let Him hold it and take care of it.

Things will get worked out. I know they will. He is Gracious beyond my awkwardness, Loving beyond my shyness, and Faithful beyond my lack of humility. One day it will make sense; one day it will bring Him glory.

On Learning to Trust Again

2008-06-21T21:15:00.002-04:00

An unexpected option and a whirlwind of thoughts. I think it's a good idea; I want to do it, but another part of me wants to just stay inside the walls, keep the distance, not have to worry about it all.

Jesus is going to have to help me to trust again because even this "little step" stretches the trust, the vulnerability that got bruised. I want to be genuine and honest, but that's still scary at times.

I've got to get beyond this. I've got to learn to trust again. I've got take a few risks.

Heartbreak and Jesus.

2008-06-18T09:32:00.001-04:00

This is why for thousands of years Christians have found the cross to be so central to life. It speaks to us of God’s suffering, God’s pain, God’s broken heart. It’s God making the first move and then waiting for our response.

If you have ever given yourself to someone and had your heart broken, you know how God feels.
If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels.

If you have ever given yourself to someone and they responded, they reciprocated with love of their own, you know how God feels.

The cross is God’s way of saying, “I know what it’s like.”

The execution stake is the creator of the universe saying, “I know how you feel.”

Our tendency in the midst of suffering is to turn on God. To get angry and bitter and shake our fist at the sky and say, “God, you don’t know what it’s like! You don’t understand! You have no idea what I’m going through. You don’t have a clue how much this hurts.”

The cross is God’s way of taking away all of our accusations, excuses, and arguments.

The cross is God taking on flesh and blood and saying, “Me too.”

This can transform our experience of heartbreak. Instead of being something that can distance us from God, causing us to question, “Where are you?” every poem by a lover spurned, every song sung with an ache, every movie with a gut-wrenching scene, every late-night conversation and empty box of Kleenex are glimpses into the life of God.

Our first need is not for people to fix our problems. People who charge in and have all the answers and try to make things right without first joining us in our pain generally annoy us, or worse yet, they push us away. They have nothing to give us. The God that Jesus points us to isn't a god who stands at a distance, wringing his hands and saying, “If only you’d listened to me.”

This is the God who holds out his hands and asks, “Would you like to see the holes where the nails went? Would that help?”

It’s the place where we find out we’re not alone, where we find strength to go on. Not a strength that comes from within ourselves but a strength that comes from God. The God who keeps going. Who keeps offering. Who keeps loving. Who keeps risking.

A God who knows what it’s like.

The cross is where we present our wounds to God and say, “Here, you take them.”

Our healing begins when we participate in the suffering of God. When we don’t avoid it but enter into it, and in the process enter into the life of God. When we see our pain not as separating us from but connecting us to our maker.

And in this connection, there’s always the chance we’ll find a reason to risk again.

If God can continue to risk, then maybe we can too.

Perhaps you’ve had you heart broken by somebody. You risked and extended and offered yourself, and they rejected and turned away and didn’t return your love.

There is something divine in your suffering.

Somebody divine in your pain.

You know how God feels.

Really good, loving people get hurt. It’s how things are.

Maybe you’re living in the wake of a relationship that fell apart. You have to dig those moments up. The parts that hurt and the awkward conversations and the anger and the failure and the misunderstanding and the betrayal. You have to dig them up and acknowledge them before you are ever going to heal.

Sex God, Rob Bell

An Awkward Stage. And a Good Dose of Honesty.

2008-06-08T22:58:00.002-04:00

I must admit that I came home tonight with my mind whirling, but it wasn't whirling as a result of the specific thoughts shared tonight. Instead my mind latched onto one thought and suddenly realized how much I feel caught in the middle of an awkward stage, a sort of identity crisis. As I process my future role in a church body, I am hit with the realization that I will soon be the age of a stereotypical youth leader. You know it: that "fresh out of college, perhaps just married and just enough adult, but still young" age. However, there aren't many in this population... in other words, when it comes time to find people to be leaders for the looming swarm of pre-teen and teens, it could come down to, hmmm, two of us? And, quite frankly, I don't know that I will or wantfeel called to fill such a position. Who knows what I will be doing or exactly what my identity will include at that time. Sure, I don't know exactly what time will bring.

But, I can assure you that I don't think many people have realized the lack of people in this stereotypical "youth leader age group."

Which unfurls the rest of the my tangled thoughts. More and more I find myself caught in an awkward stage, a sort of dance between childhood and adulthood. I consider myself an adult (thank you) yet have still been labeled as a child at times. However, this is the least of my worries. Due to this stage of life, connections are seasonal at best. I mean, school, then home, then school, then home...

Take a good look at the life of the young adult group and you will find it lacking. Two people only home for 1/4 of the year. I speak for 50% of that population when I say that the young adult group is certainly not what keeps me here.

So, how do we "fix" the problem? I'm not saying we can fix this specific issue... you can't create more young adults. And, how do you create a connection for a group that is absent for 3/4 of the year?

But, why aren't we attracting young adults?

It's probably a vicious cycle. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate the connections that are made in the short months. But, one thing is certain: I'm not the pre-teen or teen with handfuls of buddies, and I'm not married with a kid on my hip. Sort of lost in the shuffle. I'm not a member of the masses in need of a youth pastor; neither am I a mom in need of time away or parenting advice. But, I'm in school, I'm working through heartbreak, I'm feeling young, I'm working through grief, I'm raising questions, I'm building dreams, I'm working, I'm tired, I'm worried about finances, I'm excited about life.

I've dipped my toes in other young adult groups, and I've seen the "green, thriving grass on the other side of the fence." I've seen the blend of people, identities.

It was a short taste. But I miss it. I miss becoming a part of that support group, I miss having that support group to fall back on and learn from. (Don't get me wrong, parents are a wonderful support! But, the age group that I looked forward to being a part of is suddenly not here. Not really anyone's fault... But I think it's a fact that most people don't see and you just might want to consider the future implications of this dwindling age group.

When they're looking for a youth leader and my age/identity makes me a prime suspect, will I be around? Or, will I be out looking for my peers, looking for a connection with them?

Blame it on the time of day, my tired mind, or the disillusionment of a college student. But, something's missing.

Fresh Hope

2008-05-19T22:30:00.003-04:00

FRESH HOPE

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:3-5 NKJV

If you've ever spent time reading and meditating on the beautiful verses of Psalm 37, then you know how encouraging and inspiring they are. When I was dealing with some painful circumstances recently, the Lord led me to this psalm, and He gave me some fresh insights that lifted my heart and filled me with fresh hope. I'd like to share some of these insights with you here today, in the hope that you, too, may be encouraged.

Psalm 37:3 (NKJV) says: "Trust in the Lord, and do good." Why does the Lord so often tell us to trust Him? Because He knows that if we don't stand firm in our faith, the devil and his cohorts will be able to rob us of the victories and blessings that He has in store for us. God longs to empower us to live above our circumstances in difficult times, but He requires our cooperation. We cooperate with Him by making a quality decision to trust Him, and to resist all fear and doubt. Another way we can cooperate with His plan for our victory is to "do good," as this verse says. When we are going through a trial, the devil would like nothing better than to see us "stuck" in our problems. He doesn't want us to move forward, but to keep our focus on our problems and ourselves. God's antidote to that faulty strategy is to reach out to others, knowing that as we do, we will be energized and revived in ways that will keep us moving along the path of victory the Lord has mapped out for us. The second half of this verse tells us to "feed on His faithfulness." God showed me that when I'm in a difficult place and I'm tempted to despair, I need to feed on His promises. Whether we need healing, finances, the restoration of a relationship, or anything else, there are scriptural promises that we can pray and stand on, trusting Him to be faithful to His Word. As one wise man has rightly said, "God's promises will give you hope in hopeless situations."

The next verse in Psalm 37 says: "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4 NKJV) How do we delight ourselves in the Lord? We give HIM the desires of HIS heart. Every day--in big ways and small--we put God first. We seek His will in everything, and we do our best--with His help--to follow His lead. If we focus on our own desires, they will continually elude us. But if we focus on God's desires, we will find our own desires chasing us down and overtaking us. I often like to pray, "Lord, remove from me every dream and desire that is not from You, and plant deeply in my heart those that You have ordained for me." I don't want to waste one moment of my life wishing for something that isn't God's best for me.

Psalm 37:5 (NKJV) says: "Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." In all our "ways," God has a part to play, and so do we. God won't do our part. And He won't let us do His part. As we work in partnership with the Lord to bring His perfect will to pass in our lives, we will witness His perfect plans unfolding before our very eyes. Every time we encounter a need or a problem, God already has a custom-made solution prepared for us. It doesn't matter how many obstacles seem to be in the way, if we will let God be God in our situation, He will make a way where there seems to be none. The Lord wants to fill you with fresh hope for your life and circumstances today. Call upon him now, and ask Him to reveal Himself to you in healing, comforting, and uplifting ways!

Lord, in times of trial and trouble, help me to take my stand in faith, and to do good to others. Teach me how to delight in You and Your Word, and to claim Your promises of victory. Thank You that as I commit everything to You, You will fulfill Your perfect purposes for me!

(Devotional written by J.M. Farro)

Just Resting.

2008-05-12T20:06:00.002-04:00

I know I posted this devotional several months ago, but as I read through my journal yesterday it stood out to me again. As I have always said, in this part of life it's all a process... the heartache, the memories, but now, some joy. Not for any particular reason; I'm not kidding: nothing extraordinary has happened. But, for a few days now I have found myself, "resting, resting, in the joy of what Thou art; finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart." And, this devotional gives particular encouragement in the hope that these experiences, this array of genuine emotion, will someday help another young woman. And, as always, may Jesus use the broken pieces, but leave the scars to be a testimony of His faithfulness, glory and grace.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The son found himself in a barren place.

His Father said, "In this place I will give you the peace you are longing for. Here I will give you spiritual food that will nourish you. You are always with Me---no

Then the Father, with great gentleness dres the son to Himself. Quietly he said, "I am the one who allowed you to come into these humbling circumstances and who allowed you to hunger. I did this so that I might feed you with manna---My bread from heaven.

"Only in this way could I help you to know that you cannot live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from My mouth."

. . . Later still, the son wondered why one like himself, who was so richly fed and cared for at times, should at other times feel so poor and needy and thirsty.
His Father replied by asking four questions:

"Can someone who has never thirsted know how precious is My living water?

"Can someone who has never discovered rivers of these living waters flowing on barren heights---can he ever lead his thirsty friend to those rivers?

"Can someone who has never walked the deep valleys of the spirit help a friend who is fainting---or lead this friend to the well-springs that will save the life of his soul?

"Can someone who has never seen burning sands in the wilderness turn into a refreshing pool---can he speak in praise of My marvels, or My power?

I Come Quietly to Meet You, Amy Carmichael

I Have to Believe

2008-04-29T20:27:00.001-04:00

I have to believe
That He sees my darkness
I have to believe
He knows my pain
I have to lift up
My hands to worship
Worship His name

I have to declare
That He is my refuge
I have to deny
That I am alone
I have to lift up
My eyes to the mountain
It's where my help comes from

Oh yeah
He said that He's forever faithful
He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains
He can move my mountain
He can move your mountain, too

Oh, I have to stand tall
When the wind blows me over
I have to stand strong
When I'm weak and afraid
I have to grab hold
Ahold of the garments
The garments of praise

I know, I know, I know
Cause He said that He's forever faithful
And He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains
He can move my mountain
He can move your mountain, too

I have to sing praise
When the hour is midnight
He unlocks these chains
That bind up my soul
My sin and my shame
He has forgiven and made me whole

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Cause He said that He's forever faithful
And He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
He said that He can move mountains
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains
He can move my mountain
He can move your mountain, too

I have to believe
I have to believe
He's got everything under control
I have to believe
Lord, I believe
Help my unbelief
I have to believe in You
I have to believe

I Have to Believe, Rita Springer

Part of the Journey

2008-04-28T19:01:00.004-04:00

There are those moments when the memories come flooding back, or something seemingly insiginificant reminds me of an inside joke or delight. It is at those times too that the questions flood my mind . . . Like I wrote in my last few posts, trust is a constant journey for me, especially in these days. It's an unending battle to keep from hiding my heart, to keep from protecting it at all costs. You will need to be patient with me, I need time to learn to trust again. I'm just learning to trust that it's okay. Learning to trust that it's okay that I still care for you, that it's okay if I can't show that, that it's okay to have questions.

I want to rest, I want to trust . . . I want these words to be the words of my heart.

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power,
Thou hast made me whole.

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart

O, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O, how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Belovèd,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings:
Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift Thy face upon me
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ’neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory,
Sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
Fill me with Thy grace.

Jesus I am Resting, Resting, recorded by FFH

Blessed Be the Name of the Lord

2008-04-26T22:23:00.002-04:00

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When I can say blessed be the name of the Lord,
when I can trust the Lord's provision,
when I can bless the other person

in spite of my disappointment,
in spite of my questions,
in spite of my worry,

through the chaos,
through the calm,

as I learn to trust beyond my circumstances
as I discover what it means to be broken and remolded
as He uses the broken pieces, leaving the signs of His faithfulness

may it all be a testimony to His grace
may it all be for His glory.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

my hands hold safely to my dreams
clutching tightly not one has fallen
so many years have shaped each one
reflecting my heart, showing who I am
now You're asking me to show
what I'm holding oh so tightly
can't open my hands, can't let go
does it matter?
should I show You?
can't You let me go?

surrender, surrender
You whisper, gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't You see
my dreams are me

You say You have a plan for me
and that You want the best for my life
told me the world had yet to see
what You can do with one that's committed to Your call
I know of course what I should do
that I can't hold these dreams forever
if I give them now to You
will You take them away forever
or can I dream again?

Surrender, Barlow Girl

Transparency

2008-04-24T19:17:00.002-04:00

As this school year quickly comes to an end, I find myself overwhelmed by so many things, so many thoughts. Not only are finals looming ahead . . . worms, wheezes and weird diseases . . . Esther, Nahum, Jeremiah . . . the raptures's impact on our worldview, the structure of the church . . . correlation, standard deviation and z-scores . . . But, I often realize I am also stuck in a whirldwind, stuck on a roller coaster. Emotions that I want to stuff inside, yet pull out and shake off. Emotions that make me feel all mixed up inside about the idea of coming home. . . I miss so many people: my family and friends; I long for coffee chats with friends, and catch-up sessions with those I haven't seen in months. I want to talk with someone who has been where I have been, someone who is where I am now. I have several ideas for this summer . . . working some more on putting together an album of recipes from my family . . . probably working random jobs in order to make enough money . . . reading books . . .

Yet, I also am aware of the stark absence of one person. At times I wonder how I will ever find enough things to do. It's so much easier out here, where life never included him. I don't always have to deal with it out here. But, at home, I fear a completely different story . . .

A mix of homesickness, the roller coaster of loss and heartache, I'm all a-jumble inside. I'm wishing I could do things that I can't and go places that I can't, out of respect and sensitivity to the situation. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so cautious about protecting the other person.

I wish you would know that I am not as strong as you think I am. No, I haven't been crushed; I am continuing on, remembering that God walked with me into this season for a reason . . . and He continues to walk with me. I'm still me, but I try to hide the tears, the fears. I lost my best friend, one of my biggest supporters, one of my biggest encouragements. It still hurts; to be honest, I haven't had time to process all of my thoughts, which has been nice in some ways, but now I fear those moments. Sometimes I just want to put my heart in a box and lock it and stuff it under my bed. I have so many questions, questions that require one thing that I despise: patience.

I want you to know that this post is not a picture of a 24/7 Mopey; but, I think we often stuff things inside, refusing to reveal our true feelings because we want to look like we have it all together. But I want to be transparent. Do you remember when I said I want to be more genuine? Well, I'm trying. I want you to know that I'm not always as strong as you said I was.

I can't wait to look back some day and see the purpose, to see how God is glorified in this process. He is faithful and He is my Jehovah Jireh . . . the provider of everything I need to live a life that brings glory to His name.

None But Jesus

2008-04-20T16:45:00.000-04:00

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore

None But Jesus, Hillsong United

Just honesty, is all.

2008-04-12T19:50:00.003-04:00

I'm tired of this roller coaster; I want to get off. Life is so busy that I have little time for processing, little time to let the emotions out that threaten to boil over.

Adonai
I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You are maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh my Adonai

Adonai, Avalon

I Need You

2008-04-02T13:29:00.005-04:00

My heart is restless in me
My wings are all worn out
I'm walking in the wilderness
And I cannot get out
I need You, Oh, I need You
Blessed Savior come
I need You, Oh, I need You
You're the every longing of my soul

Oh, how I need You, Lord
I need Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The sin that I afford
I need to weep and pray
For all the thousand ways
That I have failed You just today

My bed is soaked with sadness
My sadness has no end
A downward spiral of despair
And I keep falling in
I need You, Oh, I need You
To You my soul shall fly
I need You, Oh, I need You
Yahweh, how I love You more than life

Oh, how I need You, Lord
I need Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The sin that I afford
I need to weep and pray
For all the thousand ways
That I have failed You just today

Your silence is like death to me
So won't You hear my desperate plea

Today my soul is soaring
Way over mountains high
Though I can see the valleys,
They're all just passing by
It's not that I am stronger
Look at my feeble wings
But I've been lifted higher
Yahweh's lifted me in His own strength

Oh, how I love You, Lord
I love Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The God who always will endure
Now I will celebrate
For all the thousand ways
That You have shown me grace
And made my heart in grace to stay
You've made my heart in grace to stay
You've made my heart in grace to stay

I Need You, Josh Bales

This song was recorded by The Swift, but it was originally written by Josh Bales. Josh is an talented, amazing worship leader and we had the privilege of worshiping with him in chapel yesterday and today (two years in a row; loved both years!). If you haven't heard of him, check him out . . . And make this the first song that you listen to! : ) Check out Josh on Free Napster: http://free.napster.com/view/artist/index.html?id=12294308

In My Boat

2008-03-27T18:16:00.003-04:00

This evening held several revelations---

Encouragement is something near and dear to my heart. It's something that I thrive on---I love others by giving it and I survive by receiving it. Whether it be nature, nurture, or supernatural (I vote the latter), encouragement is part of who I am. Granted, there are days that I don't succeed . . . I'm just as human as you. But, I find incredible joy in knowing that a word may bless another, brighten a day, or provide a refreshing boost. I've been challenged recently by the struggle of wanting to encourage someone, but not being able to do so for various reasons. As I chatted with a friend tonight, I suddenly realized that while I miss the opportunity to support that person in their challenging journey, I should be pouring that encouragement into other people. God designed the Body for a reason, so that each person can minister and be ministered to. There is a reason for this season, for this place, for these people; I just need to be a willing vessel.

And, how nice it is to realize that a dear friend is in the same boat as you . . . What an encouragement to know that someone else knows the feelings, the thoughts, the questions. Yes, details of the circumstances may be different, but the essence, the need for patience is the same. (As is our strong dislike of the word, patience!) At a time when most people can't relate, it is a refreshing blessing to chat with someone who can challenge you, encourage you, and walk with you . . . and that you can do the same for them.

Hope

2008-03-25T19:06:00.005-04:00

In the name of the Father
In the name of the Son
in the name of the Spirit
Lord we come

We're gathered together
to lift up Your name
to call on our Savior
to fall on Your grace

Hear the joyful sound
of our offering
as Your saints bow down
as Your people sing
we will rise with You
lifted on Your wings
and the world will see that

Our God saves
Our God saves
there is hope
in Your name

Mourning turns
to songs of praise
Our God saves
Our God saves

Hear the joyful of our offering
As Your saints bow down
As Your people sing
We will rise with You
Lifted on Your wings
And the world will see that
Yes, the world will see that . . .

(Our God Saves, Paul Baloche)

I want to be a testimony of that hope. In the midst of being honest, I hope that my posts don't make me sound like a helpless, hopeless, woe-is-me soul.

No, mourning turns to songs of praise because our God saves!

Even the Broken Pieces

2008-03-24T20:48:00.005-04:00

What to write? Life is a fast-paced jumble right now! I can hardly believe that I just returned to the wilderness, er, midwest to finish my last 6 weeks of school! At that point, I will be half-way through my bachelor's degree, and two years closer to the reality of life after school . . . which is a scary yet exciting thought at the same time. : )

It goes without saying that life has been challenging. I know that the challenges in life are meant to bring us to Christlikeness . . . so we should be appreciative of them. I know that difficulties stretch us, grow us, mold us. Yet, I wish it wasn't so painful; I wish it wasn't so hard; or at least I wish the journey was shorter! But, since that isn't possible . . . honesty is the best policy.

After deep loss, experiencing the bumps along the way, the painful moments, the days that my heart and mind work through a wide array of emotions . . . hurt, disappointment, peace, sadness, doubt, grief, contentment, abandonment, apathy, emptiness, determination. I know there will be more bumps to come; they always show up at the most random times, and always when I think I am doing "fine." I continue on this journey, hoping, trusting that this too will bring God glory.

And, through it all, praying and trusting that the Potter is molding and using this Lady in Waiting in His timing, through His way, and for His glory. And even when the pottery crumbles or breaks, the Potter will gently continue to mold, using the broken pieces but leaving the signs of brokeness to be a testimony to His faithfulness, grace and strength.

a few changes in life.

2008-03-05T19:45:00.003-05:00

a vast buffet of thoughts.

a large selection of emotions.

a wide array of blessings.

just as wide an array of challenges.

Hold Me Jesus

2008-01-30T21:40:00.000-05:00

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Rich Mullins

Lead Me to the Cross

2008-01-27T13:22:00.000-05:00

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

Hillsong United

Vision of You

2008-01-15T21:22:00.000-05:00

I know I posted this song before, but it's a good one, so here it is again!

Come meet us, King Jesus
Oh wind of change blow through this temple
Sweet Spirit of God, come and mend our hearts
For all we have are songs
Unless You come

Awaken what’s inside of me
Tune my heart to all You are in me
Even though You’re here God come
And may the vision of You
Be the death of me
And even though you’ve given everything
Jesus come

Come free us, King Jesus
It’s the only way that freedom’s given
From You and You alone
In the work You’ve already done
For all we have are songs,
Unless You come

Here we are, Lord
In this place
Crying out for
Your embrace
To hear Your voice
More than songs
Please come
Jesus come

Shane and Shane

Set the World on Fire

2007-12-06T22:55:00.000-05:00

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father`s hands

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me

I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah

I'm gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire

Britt Nicole

Vision of You

2007-12-06T13:23:00.000-05:00

Come meet us, King Jesus
Oh wind of change blow through this temple
Sweet Spirit of God, come and mend our hearts
For all we have are songs
Unless You come

Awaken what’s inside of me
Tune my heart to all You are in me
Even though You’re here God come
And may the vision of You
Be the death of me
And even though you’ve given everything
Jesus come

Come free us, King Jesus
It’s the only way that freedom’s given
From You and You alone
In the work You’ve already done
For all we have are songs,
Unless You come

Here we are, Lord
In this place
Crying out for
Your embrace
To hear Your voice
More than songs
Please come
Jesus come

Shane and Shane

I Am Not Alone

2007-11-17T22:41:00.000-05:00

You're here
In my heart
You're the Light
That guides me through the dark

You walk beside me
The night seems cold
Each time I fall
Your arms are there to hold

You walk beside me
Giving strength I've never known
I am not alone
You walk beside me

You're here
In my mind
I talk to you
And all my fears unwind
I know I'm loved for who I am
You make me wanna be the best I can

And I rely on your patience
When I face the unknown
and because of you
I am not alone

In the sun, In the rain
Through the good times and the pain
I reach out for your hand
I know that you understand

Natalie Grant

2007-11-14T15:42:00.000-05:00

Please know that you are loved. He is enough for you, and we are here for you.

Does anybody know how I feel?
Sometimes I'm numb, sometimes I'm overcome
Does anybody care what's going on?
Do I have to wear my scars like a badge on my arm
For you to see me, I need release

Do I have to scream for you to hear me?
Do I have to bleed for you to see me?
'Cause I grieve, you're not listening to me
Do I need to scream?

Has anybody seen what's been done?
Where was my defense? No one heard my protest
The eyes of God were watching me
It's time to make my peace, let it go and be released
So I can breathe again
I'm on my knees

I've been marked, set apart
But I'm cut so deep and afraid of the dark
One drop of blood from the hole in Your hand
Is enough to heal me and make me stand

'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me

I don't have to scream for Him to hear me
Don't have to bleed for Him to see me
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me
I don't have to scream
I don't have to bleed
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening
And I don't have to scream

ZOEgirl, Scream

Snip-its

2007-11-11T16:01:00.000-05:00

Coming out of such a busy, relentless week, I didn't have the chance---or take the time---to do devotions this week... So, today I took some time to just sit and read some devotionals. Some snip-its stuck out to me, so I thought I'd update with a post : )

From J.M. Farro, God Cares About the Details

...The Lord knows that we are in a constant battle against good and evil in this world, and He's aware of how weary we can get. He longs to encourage us regularly with countless little blessings, as well as with big ones. These little encouragements can give us the lift we need to keep pressing on to the victory when we've been tempted to lose heart. Sometimes I feel like I need a special touch from God, so I pray something like, "Lord, do something new and wonderful in my life!" I may not even know what it is that I want Him to do, but He knows, and He never disappoints me.

Don't let anyone tell you that God doesn't care about the little details of your life. There are plenty of believers who are constantly proving otherwise, and I'm one of them. My friend Peggy is another. Jesus said, "Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and your cup of joy will overflow." (John 16:24 TLB) Don't wait a minute longer. Take the Lord up on His offer today, and let Him prove to you once again that He is true to His Word. May this precious promise from God encourage your heart today--"The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives"! (Psalm 37:23 NLT)...

From Devotional Classics, excerpts from Bernard of Clairvaux's On the Love of God

... No one deserves our love more [than God]...he gave himself for us despite the fact that we are so undeserving...

...True love is precisely this: that it does not seek its own interests...

The First Degree of Love: Love of Self for Self's Sake
...Seeking first the kingdom means to prefer to bear the yoke of modesty and restraint rather than allow sin to reign in your mortal body... How can we have a pure love for our neighbor if we do not love him in God? And you cannot love your neighbor unless you love God

The Third Degree of Love: Love of God for God's Sake
...We have obtained this degree when we can say, "Give praise to the Lord for he is good, not because he is good to me, but because he is good."

They that Wait

2007-10-28T23:12:00.000-04:00

They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength
They will mount up with wings like an eagle
They will run and not grow weary at all
They will walk and will not faint

Jesus, we will wait on you
Oh hear our cry again
Jesus, we will wait on you
as you renew us from within
We will hold onto your promises
until you come again
We will wait on you

They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength
They will mount up with wings like an eagle
They will run and not grow weary at all
They will walk and will not faint

Matt Goss Band

A beautiful song

2007-10-23T18:21:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here.

Steven Curtis Chapman, I Will Be Here

A Letter from God to all Women...

2007-10-10T23:16:00.000-04:00

I made her... she is different. With love I formed her in her mother’s womb. I fashioned her with great joy. I remember, with pleasure, the day I created her. I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh. And the silly things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure. This is how I made her. I made her pretty and not beautiful because I knew heart, and I knew she would be vain... I wanted her to search out her heart, and learn that it would be me in her that made her beautiful... and it would be Me in her heart that would draw friends to her. I made her in such a way that she would need me. I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be, I know her heart, I know if I had not made her like this she would have gone her own way and forgotten about me... her Creator. I have given her many good and happy things... because I love her. Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart and the tears she’s cried alone. And I have cried with her and had a broken heart too. Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone, only because she would not hold my hand. So many lessons she has learned the hard way because she would not listen to my voice... So many times I have sat back and watched her go her own way, only to return to my arms sad and broken. And now she is mine again... I made her, and then I bought her... Because I love her. I have to reshape and mold her.. To renew her to what I had planned for her to be. It has not been easy for her or for me. I want her to be conformed to my image... This is the high goal I have set for her....
Because I love her.

When I created the heavens and earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate . I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so he could not interfere with my creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man’s life. I chose the rib, which protects the heart and lungs, and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone I shaped you... I molded you. I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib, strong, yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life, the rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart.

Support the man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be below him, nor from his head to be above him. You were taken from his side to stand beside him and be held close to his side. You are my perfect angel, you are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes-don’t change them. Your lips- how lovely when they part in prayer. Your hands- how gently to touch. I’ve caressed your face in deep sleep. I’ve held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives and breathes you are the most like me. Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, and yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me, he could only feel me. For everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned you- my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my protection, my support. You are special because you are an extension of me. Man represents my image; woman, my emotions. Together you represent the totality of God. So man, treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile.

Fountain

2007-10-02T21:03:00.001-04:00

there's a well that is deep and strong
that's clear and cold and refreshing
in this well there's an endless supply
of the Father's love for His children

there's a stream that flows from the throne
it's full of joy everlasting
it makes glad the hearts of the saints
and covers us all with its blessings

so we turn to You to fill our souls
and we run to You to make us whole

You're the Fountain of living water,
the Well that will never run dry
You're the River of love and forgiveness,
the God who can satisfy

so saturate me...
captivate me...
saturate me
be my treasure

still I drink from dry, dusty wells
that promise some life to my soul
and I find that time after time
I'm as empty as I was before

but Jesus stands ready to drench
the innermost place of our hearts
and those who drink deeply of Him
will never thirst again

so we turn to you to fill our souls
and we run to you to make us whole

You're the fountain of living water
the Well that will never run dry
You're the river of love and forgiveness
the God who can satisfy

so saturate me...
captivate me...
saturate me...
be my treasure

You're the fountain of living water
the Well that will never run dry
You're the river of love and forgiveness
the God who can satisfy

Fountain, by Matt Rexford: a song that every church, every believer, every person needs to learn! Seriously.

Don't Let Me Lose My Wonder

2007-09-28T21:27:00.000-04:00

We know how easy it can be to hear the story of the gospel and it to sound dangerously familiar to us, so we use this solo song at the end of an evening of hymns to let them breathe and let people have time to reflect and pray that the wonder of Christ and His work in the world should not be forgotten.
~ Keith and Kristyn Getty

I've seen days melt into nights in circles of lights,
I've watched a spider spin a star between the window box flowers,
I've heard you laugh and cry in a single sigh,
and a story form within.

Don't let me lose my wonder.
Don't let me lose my wonder.

I saw her broken dreams inside but helping others fly,
I saw his eyes without a doubt though other lights faded out,
And though her calling roared, such graciousness poured
From the vision of her soul.

A baby cried through the dark beneath a jeweled spark,
I knew Your voice upon the hill and heard my lostness still,
I found my home in the light where wrong was made right
And You rose as the morning star.

Psalm 66

2007-09-13T21:34:00.001-04:00

Shout for joy to God, all the earth! Sing the glory of His name; make His praise glorious. Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you. All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing the praises of your name." Come and see what God has done, his awesome deeds for humankind! He turned the sea into dry land, they passed through the waters on foot--come, let us rejoice in him... Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what He has done for me. I cried out to Him with my mouth; His praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!

Romans 8:26-27

2007-09-11T20:29:00.000-04:00

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

P.S. Thank you, Mom!

Update

2007-09-11T11:33:00.000-04:00

Please continue to pray for my friend. The situation is not necessarily better, and I am at a place of absolute confusion as to what to say, what to do ...even what to pray.

Tears of the Saints

2007-09-05T22:38:00.001-04:00

There are many prodigal sons
On our city streets they run
Searching for shelter
There are homes broken down
People’s hopes have fallen to the ground
From failures

This is an emergency!

There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them come back home
We’re crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

There are schools full of hatred
Even churches have forsaken
Love and mercy
May we see this generation
In its state of desperation
For Your glory

This is an emergency!

There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them come back home
We’re crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!
Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!

There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them come back home
We’re crying for them come back home
And all Your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

Tears of the Saints, Leeland

I love this song; it gives me goosebumps and brings tears to the brink.

Shut Up and Pray

2007-09-05T22:21:00.000-04:00

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of Him."

1 John 5:14-15 NIV

"...I had read about the "shut up and pray" principle, and I believed it was the strategy God wanted me to employ in both of these situations. I was relatively certain that I was praying according to God's will, and I claimed God's promise in the verses above. But to be honest, I wasn't completely sure until I witnessed the Lord's supernatural intervention. David prayed, "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." (Psalm 141:3) If we pressure people or say the wrong things when we want them to change their behavior or course of action, we can make them more stubborn and resistant. In these cases, we're not helping God, we're hindering Him. Often, the Lord won't get involved in matters like these until we back off and hand them completely over to Him. If we stop trying to accomplish what only God can, and if we invite Him into the situation through fervent prayer, He will do what we can't. He knows how to reach these people even when we don't, and He can put pressure on them in ways that will turn their hearts toward--not against--Him and us. If we're ever tempted to harbor bitterness or resentment against the people involved, we must repent and ask for God's forgiveness and help, otherwise our prayers won't be very effective. If you feel like you've tried everything to get someone to change their behavior or course of action and you've gotten nowhere, let me encourage you to entrust the matter to the Lord, "enter His rest," and "cease from your own labors." (Hebrews 4:3,10) Persevere in prayer, then be prepared to witness the miracle-working power of God!

Lord, show me when to confront someone about their behavior, and when to just be silent and pray for them. Help me to do my part, and to let You do Yours. When I'm tempted to hold anything against anyone, help me to forgive them quickly and thoroughly. Thank You that because of my right-standing with You in Christ Jesus, my prayers shall have "great power and wonderful results"! (James 5:16 TLB)

Excerpt from "Shut Up and Pray," a devotional by J.M. Farro

2007-08-30T20:06:00.001-04:00

Please pray for wisdom for a friend.

The Essence of Worship

2007-08-26T16:24:00.000-04:00

Who am I?
That You came to earth for me
To die on a tree?
Who are you?
Son of man, Son of God
Yes, I believe it's true
More than words I bring to You
May all I say and may all I do be

Hallelujah, hallelujah
May everything about me be
Hallelujah to my King
Hallelujah, hallelujah
May everything about me be hallelujah

All of me
I surrender completely
Take control
I want all of You
So I'm letting go

I am healed and I'm forgiven
I am free because I'm living

It's all so clear, it's all so clear
I was born to worship

Hallelujah, hallelujah
May everything about me be hallelujah

Living Hallelujah, Sarah Kelly

We don't need instruments. We don't need special music. We don't need big buildings. We don't need contemporary styles or classical hymns. We don't need the top of technology.

All we need is the risen Savior.

To make His name famous every day, everywhere. Soli Deo Gloria.

Servanthood

2007-08-25T13:44:00.000-04:00

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

In your relationships with one another have the same attitude of mind Christ Jesus had:

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a human being, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death--even to death on a cross!

Philippians 2:1-8

2007-08-22T22:27:00.000-04:00

This is what the Lord says--

he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, who drew out the chariots and horses, the army and reinforcements together, and they lay there, never to rise again, extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

More Than Conquerors

2007-08-11T11:21:00.001-04:00

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then can condemn? No one. Christ who died---more than that, who was raised to life---is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, nether the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord

Romans 8:31-39

He Allows Me to Hunger

2007-08-06T13:06:00.000-04:00

The son found himself in a barren place.

His Father said, "In this place I will give you the peace you are longing for. Here I will give you spiritual food that will nourish you. You are always with Me---no matter what the circumstances---and all that I have is yours."

Then the Father, with great gentleness drew the son to himself. Quietly he said, "I am the one who allowed you to come into these humbling circumstances and who allowed you to hunger. I did this so that I might feed you with manna---My bread from heaven!

"Only in this way could I help you to know that you cannot live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from My mouth."

...Later still, the son wondered why one like himself, who was so richly fed and cared for at times, should at other times feel so poor and needy and thirsty.

His Father replied by asking four questions:

"Can someone who has never thirsted know how precious is My living water?

"Can someone who has never discovered rivers of these living waters flowing on barren heights---can he ever lead his thirsty friend to those rivers?

"Can someone who has never walked the deep valleys of the spirit help a friend who is fainting---or lead this friend to the well-springs that will save the life of his soul?

"Can someone who has never seen burning sands in the wilderness turn into a refreshing pool---can he speak in praise of My marvels, or My power?"

Amy Carmichael, I come Quietly to Meet You

One of the main blessings of discipline and challenges is that we are better equipped to comfort and lead someone else who is struggling when we have experienced the same thing. If we could only realize that every moment, every occurence has a full purpose, even if we don't see the purpose instantaneously. How amazing His plans and how awesome His purposes, even when we don't understand how or why.

Colossians 1:9-14

2007-07-16T10:42:00.000-04:00

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Love this passage!

Living Stones

2007-07-12T12:47:00.000-04:00

1 Peter 2:5

You also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

Under the inspiration of the Spirit, Peter called believers in Christ "living stones." The New Testament contains several different Greek words for rock...Peter used lithos, which can refer to small or large stones [to refer to believers]. Interestingly, lithos is also the original term used for the stone rolled away from Christ's tomb. Wouldn't it be something if our lives became living stones exposing the empty tomb--the proof Jesus lives? What if people were convinced we worship a living Savior simply by watching the effervescent life of the Spirit in us?

Beth Moore, Whispers of Hope

A Prayer As You Go

2007-07-10T13:20:00.000-04:00

All the world is a story
All the world is a stage
All the world is a canvas
All the world is a page
All the world is a horizon
All the world is a field of dreams
All the world is an open doorway
All the world is a place for me

(Chorus)
To be your voice
To be your touch
To give an answer
To show your love
To hold out hope
To offer peace
To shine your light for everyone to see
In all the world

All the world is a someone
All the world is a dance
All the world is a moment
All the world is a chance

You are amazing mercy
You are undying grace
I want them all to see how wonderful you are Upon my face

All the World
Point of Grace

Beyond the Sky

2007-07-05T09:37:00.000-04:00

One morning
When time is done
Bright heaven
Will be our refuge
The city of God most high

I long for
That holy day
This longing
Sometimes it captures my heart
And carries me far away

Beyond the sky
Beyond all telling
Our Father himself
Will be our light
His arms will hold us
And with his hands
He'll wipe away the tears
That stain our eyes

When darkness
Falls over me
This promise
It's like a fire inside
Burning the dark away

Beyond the sky
Beyond all telling
Our Father himself
Will be our light
His arms will hold us
And with his hands
He'll wipe away the tears
That stain our eyes

I heard this song by Fernando Ortega last night, after an evening of work. It stirred so many thoughts within. The memories of a loved one flood upon us at random times throughout life. And, each day I see dying people, people looking forward to meeting their Creator, but longing to spend more time in this place they call "home."

What a comfort to know Who welcomes the faithful who have gone Home!

2007-07-02T10:09:00.000-04:00

The Lord is faithful. He never ceases to provide the encouragement we need, at the moment we need it. I can only pray that He blesses those who encouraged you greatly in the last few days. ; )

2007-06-30T10:02:00.000-04:00

To someone I care about,

I thought of you when I read this in my devotional book last night...Praying for a steady light to guide you and to clear the confusion.

My Father, there are so many paths I could walk--so many ways to choose. And there are certain decisions I must make that lead me around and around, until my heart is in confusion.

Today, I will fix my heart on this truth:

When I feel confused, there will always come a light, held low so that my feet won't stumble--a sure light that will shine on each step of my path. Thank you, Father, that you will speak the counsels of your word to me.

Taken from I Come Quietly to Meet You, arranged by David Hazard.

When Life Distracts

2007-06-22T20:27:00.000-04:00

Amy Carmichael, in Edges of His Ways:

I think distractions in prayer are often because we have let ourselves wander too far from the things that matter most. And so we slip into an easily interrupted, easily distracted frame of mind.

My Father, something inward tells me I have been living scattered. Sometimes anxious. Restless. Distracted. Wandering inside.
I fix my eyes upon the cross now---upon the post and crossbeam...
I come, Father, to hide myself in You.

Excerpts from "I Come Quietly to Meet You," arranged by David Hazard

Healing Rain

2007-06-09T12:57:00.000-04:00

Healing rain is coming down
It's coming nearer to this old town
Rich and poor, weak and strong
It's bringing mercy, it won't be long

Healing rain is coming down
It's coming closer to the lost and found
Tears of joy, and tears of shame
Are washed forever in Jesus' name

Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain

Lift your heads, let us return
To the mercy seat where time began
And in your eyes, I see the pain
Come soak this dry heart with healing rain

And only You, the Son of man
Can take a leper and let him stand
So lift your hands, they can be held
By someone greater, the great I Am

Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain

To be washed in Heaven's rain...

Healing rain is falling down
Healing rain is falling down
I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid...

Michael W. Smith

2007-06-01T19:00:00.000-04:00

The following is a beautiful picture of marriage, as written on a plaque in our house.

Woman was created from the rib of man,
not from his head to be above him,
nor from his feet to be walked upon,
but from his side to be equal,
near his arm to be protected,
and close to his heart to be loved.

Something Beautiful

2007-05-22T18:41:00.001-04:00

I wanna start it over
I wanna start again
I want a new beginning
One without any end
I feel it inside
Calling out to me

CHORUS
It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Something's beautiful

I've heard it in the silence
Seen it on a face
I've felt it in a long hour
Like a sweet embrace
I know this is true
It's calling out to me

REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE
It's the child on her wedding day
It's the daddy that gives her away--Father
Something beautiful
When we laugh so hard we cry
It's the love between you and I
Something beautiful

Newsboys

Made to Love

2007-04-26T22:46:00.000-04:00

The dream is fading, now i'm staring at the door
I know its over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain't feelin' what I see
It's no mystery
Whatever happened to a passion I could live for
What became of the flame that made me feel more
And when did I forget that...

Chorus
I was made to love you
I was made to find you
I was made just for you
Made to adore you
I was made to love
And be loved by you
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And you said you'd keep me
Never would you leave me
I was made to love
and be loved by you

The dream's alive with my eyes opened wide
Back in the ring you've got me swinging for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin' vapors on my dreams
But I still believe
I'm reachin' out, reachin' up, reachin' over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And daddy I'm on my way
'Cause I was made to love...

Bridge
Anything I would give up for you
Everything, I'd give it all away

Toby Mac

Mighty to Save

2007-04-21T19:05:00.000-04:00

Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations
Savior

He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus

Hillsong

To Be a Woman of God

2007-04-15T13:42:00.000-04:00

Timothy 3:11

In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers, but temperate and trustworthy in everything.

What a life to strive for, what a calling! On top of Proverbs 31, this verse gives a lot for us women to learn, cultivate, and practice. Sometimes it seems impossible, but the godly characteristics are worth the effort.

Men should be looking for a woman who is striving to be the Proverbs 31 woman, and the 1 Timothy 3:11 woman. But, at the same time, women need to be living in such a way that emulates these verses.

Am I becoming this type of a woman? What am I doing each day to become a woman of such caliber? Am I thankful, encouraging and optimistic? Or do I criticize, gossip, and complain? When I step out in faith, He will provide the strength and grace I need to become the woman of Proverbs 31 and 1 Timothy 3:11.

Longing to Hear

2007-04-14T15:21:00.000-04:00

Staring in the face of God
Feeling His breath run across my face
Touching the hands of Christ
Feeling His wounds dripping with my faith
He wipes my face of all of my tears
All my painful memories

Chorus
Welcome good and faithful
Welcome home
Welcome good and faithful
Welcome home

I see the angels on their faces
As they cry out to you
Singing praise and glory
And all honor be to you

Then I lift my eyes
I see my King
And I hear Him say

I hear the angels
As they sing your praises
I see the saints
As they dance in your name
I feel your arms
As you draw me closer
You whisper in my ear and say

Welcome Home
Farewell June

I cannot wait for the day that I will hear these words. What a comfort to know that those dearly loved friends and family who have gone before now hear these words from the One they served so faithfully.

Wait for Me

2007-04-09T20:49:00.000-04:00

Darling, did you know that I
I dream about you
Waiting for the look in your eyes
When we meet for the first time
And darling, did you know that I
I pray about you
Praying that you will hold on
And keep your loving eyes only for me

'Cause I am waiting for, praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
'Cause I am waiting for, praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
Darling wait

Darling did you know
I dream about life together
Knowing it will be forever
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
And darling when I say
" Til death do us part"
I mean it with all of my heart
Now and always faithful to you

Now I know you may have made mistakes
But there's forgiveness, and a second chance
So wait for me, darling wait for me
Wait for me
Darling wait for me

Rebecca St. James

Beauty of His Hands

2007-04-01T19:54:00.000-04:00

"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of His hands."
Psalm 19:1

Soli Deo Gloria.

To God alone be the glory.

Nothing Compares

2007-03-27T20:36:00.000-04:00

I've heard all the stories
I've seen all the signs
Witnessed all the glory
Tasted all that's fine

Nothing compares to the greatness of knowing You, Lord
Nothing compares to the greatness of knowing You, Lord

I see all the people
Wasting all their time
Building up their riches
For a life that's fine

Nothing compares to the greatness of knowing You, Lord
Nothing compares to the greatness of knowing You, Lord

I find myself just living for today
'Cause I don't know what
Tomorrow's gonna bring
So no matter if I rise or fall
I'll never be alone, oh no

Third Day

Following You

2007-03-24T08:54:00.000-04:00

When I look to You suddenly I see
I see the real me
Stripped of all the worlds coverings
That’s my true, my true identity

This world has so much more clarity
With You walkin’ right in front of me

And I’m following You
Yes I’m following You
And I’m following You
Yes I’m following You

And I’ll keep it short ‘cause I learn so much more
When I’m just listening
With my eyes on You, You’re watchin’ all I do
That’s when my motives are true

This world has so much more clarity
With You walkin’ right in front of me

And I’m following You
Yes I’m following You
And I’m following You
Yes I’m following You

With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my mind
And all my strength

With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my mind
And all my strength, I’m Yours

I’m following You
I’m following You
I’m following You
I’m following You

This world has so much more clarity
With You walkin’ right in front of me
It’s such a better place to be
With You in front of me

And I’m following You
Yes I’m following You
And I’m following You
Yes I’m following You

And I’m following You
Yes I’m following You
And I’m following You
And I’m following You

Following You, Following You

Jadon Lavik

Gravity.

2007-03-23T20:39:00.000-04:00

The ways of this world are grabbing a hold
Won't let me go, won't let me fly by
It takes it's toll down on my soul
‘Cause I know what I need in my life

Don't let me lose my sight of You
Don't let me lose my sight

I don't want to fall away from You
Gravity is pulling me on down
I don't want to fall away from You
Gravity is pulling me to the ground

This world keeps making me cry
But I'm going to try, going to try to fly, going to fly high
Don't want to give into the sin, want to stay in You ‘til the end
Don't want to lose my sight of You
Don't want to lose my sight

I want to fly
Into the sky
Turn my back on this old world
Leave it all behind
This place is not my home
It's got nothing for me
Only leaves me emptiness
And tears in my eyes

Shawn McDonald

Soli Deo Gloria

2007-03-18T22:33:00.000-04:00

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Yes You Have

2007-03-16T19:47:00.000-04:00

Every tree and every stone
Every rushing wind that moans
They sing Your praise
My God, they sing Your praise
Every star and open sky
Tell of Your glory divine
They shout Your praise
They shout Your praise, yeah

You’ve stolen my heart
Yes, You have!
You’ve stolen my heart
Yes, You have!
You’ve wiped away the stains
And broke away the chains
Yes, You have!!

With Your love You set me free
Three nails gave me liberty
So I’ll sing Your praise
My God, I’ll sing Your praise
Oh, with Your love
You forgave my sin
Forgot my past
And brought me back again
So I’ll sing Your praise
I’ll sing Your praise, yeah

If I ascend into the sky
Or hide behind the night
I can not run Your love is chasing me
If I fall into the sea
Your hand will rescue me
No one will take Your place
Because

This is all for You
Yes, this is all for You
You’re the King of the world
You’re the King of the world

Yes You Have
Leeland

No You

2007-02-12T20:57:00.000-05:00

ZOEgirl

Feelin' so crazy lately
When it seems that You're not around
The sun and the moon shine bright
But my eyes are all Yours now
Don't know how I lived with out You
I don't remember how it used to feel
Lord, I can't imagine if I had no You to hold me

Where would I go with no You to run to
No You to hold me when I am afraid?
Who would I be with no You beside me?
I oughta know it by now without You there's no me
Ohhh, there's no me

Lord, when I need You, You're always here
To play through the laughter, love through the tears
And when my heart seems so far away
Into Your arms is where I wanna stay
I try to find the words to tell You
All the things my heart's been telling me
I don't wanna know how it feels to have no You to love me

Where would I go with no You to run to?
No You to hold me when I am afraid?
Where would I be with no You beside me?
I oughtta know it by now without you...

Here With Me

2007-02-11T21:48:00.000-05:00

Mercy Me

I long for Your embrace
Every single day
To meet You in this place
And see You face to face

Will you show me?
Reveal Yourself to me
Because of Your mercy
I fall down on my knees

And I can feel Your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within Your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of Your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to Your love

You're everywhere I go
I am not alone
You call me as Your own
To know You and be known

You are holy
And I fall down on my knees

I can feel Your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within Your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of Your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to Your love

I surrender to Your grace
I surrender to the one who took my place

I can feel Your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within Your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of Your touch
Here in this moment I surrender

I can feel Your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within Your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of Your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to Your love

Peace

2007-02-06T18:18:00.000-05:00

Jennifer Knapp

He is my Light and my Salvation
Whom have I to fear

In His secret place I'll hide and pray
That I might
hear a simple word

O, how I would have despaired
If You had not come found me there
I can lean against
Your throne and find my Peace
Find my Peace

And when my enemies draw near
I pray that they will find
That I'm protected and secure
All tempests He will bind
With a mighty word

O, how i would have despaired
If You had not come found me there
I can lean against
Your throne and find my Peace
Find my Peace

He is my Light and my Salvation whom have I to fear?

From the Inside Out

2007-02-01T09:06:00.000-05:00

Hillsong

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul
I give You control
Consume me from the inside out, Lord
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Came to the Rescue

2007-01-31T22:49:00.000-05:00

Hillsong

falling on my knees in worship
giving all I am to seek Your face
Lord, all I am is Yours
my whole life I place in Your hands
God of mercy
humbled I bow down
in Your presence
at Your throne

I called--
You answered
and You came to my rescue and I
want to be where You are

in my life...
be lifted high
in our world...
be lifted high
in our love...
be lifted high

Blessed Beyond Belief

2007-01-25T18:18:00.000-05:00

Despite the frustrations, the struggles, I have so much to be thankful for. He has blessed me beyond belief in so many areas. HE is faithful. Forever.

"You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to His people. Praise be to God!"

Psalm 68:35

When I Kneel

2007-01-24T22:58:00.000-05:00

"[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly...]"

Philippians 3:10 AMP

I will sing these words
In a humble attempt to praise You
I want to praise You

I will raise my hands
in a humble attempt to praise You
My heart longs to praise You

These expressions of praise are all I know
I will bow on my knees to let You know
in Your presence Lord is where I want to be

When I kneel
I feel Your arms around me
When I kneel before You Lord
You heal me
As the world around me fades away
At Your feet I will remain
Oh Lord Your presence is so real
When I kneel

Matt Goss Band

Exactly...

2007-01-22T22:29:00.000-05:00

Why should I fear man
When You made the heavens?

Why should I be afraid
When You put the stars in place?

Why should I lose heart
When I know how great You are?

Why should I give up
When Your plans are full of love?

In this world
we will have trouble
But You have overcome the world...

You shine
Brighter than the brightest star
Your love
Purer than the purest heart
You shine
Filling us with courage and strength
to follow You

In this world we will trouble
But You have overcome the world
You have overcome the world

You shine
Brighter than the brightest star
Your love
Purer than the purest heart
You shine
Filling us with courage and strength
to follow You

"You Shine"
Brian Doerksen

Legacy

2007-01-21T19:03:00.000-05:00

Nicole Nordeman

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...