Accept Your Lot---For Now.

"When God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work--this is a gift of God." Ecclesiastes 5:19 NIV

When I was feeling somewhat down and depressed over a disappointing situation that I faced recently, the Lord led me to some wisdom from His Word that helped me to see things from a new perspective. First, He showed me a verse from Ecclesiastes 5:19 (NIV), which says that one of the gifts of God is for someone to "accept his lot." Although I was certain that God was speaking to me, everything inside of me resisted the idea of my accepting my situation as it was. After all, I'm a woman of faith, a Word-filled believer, who strives for supernatural victory in every circumstance. Why should I accept less than God's best in any situation? When I got quiet in my spirit enough to allow myself to discern the Lord's "still, small voice," I realized that He was telling me, "Accept your lot--for now." As He led me next to His instructions in Colossians 3:15 (NIV), I began to understand His logic: "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since...you were called to peace. And be thankful." I definitely had lost my peace because of my disheartening situation, and I was having difficulty being thankful. And I was fully aware that my attitude and my perspective were displeasing to God.

Since I've spent so many years studying the Word of God, and doing my best to apply it to my life, I've come to believe with all my heart that the Lord wants us to prosper and succeed in every area. But I also believe that He wants us to be satisfied and content with our present circumstances, while we wait on Him to lead us into better things. This kind of waiting doesn't mean that we're passive and apathetic. It means that we actively pray and stand in faith for His very best outcome in our situation. And in the process, we maintain an attitude of gratitude, and a sense of peace. Scripture says: "Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God." (Philippians 4:6 AMP) It's perfectly okay for us to "continue to make [our] wants known to God" when we are in a disappointing situation, but we must do it with hearts filled with gratitude for what He's already done in our lives. The next verse in this passage says: "And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7 AMP) As we decide to be "content with [our] earthly lot," we will experience the peace of mind and heart that will enable us to go on and enjoy our lives while we wait for the Lord to act on our behalf.

Never being satisfied with our circumstances not only robs us of our peace, but it steals our joy, which the Bible says is our strength. (Nehemiah 8:10) Then we become weak and weary over even the littlest things. We lose our focus. And we become unfruitful. It's hard for us to pray, or to walk in faith. Our lack of satisfaction begins to consume us, and it eventually affects our relationships and our health. Scripture says: "Be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support." (Hebrews 13:5 AMP) This is the Lord's reassurance that no matter how our situation looks, we have not been abandoned by our Creator and Sustainer. As long as we areg looking to Him to meet our needs, we can be sure that His help is on the way. The apostle Paul wrote: "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT) Being grateful and content with our circumstances opens the door to divine blessings, rewards, and opportunities. On the other hand, a lack of satisfaction and gratitude will stall us on the path to God's perfect plans and purposes for us. If you are in a disappointing place right now, I encourage you to make a quality decision to get joyful and thankful right where you are. Believe God for better things--and open the door to the peace and provision that belong to you in Christ!

(Devotional by J.M. Farro)

::Strive::

2 Corinthians 6:4-10

Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

Give Me Your Eyes

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights

My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere,
Why have I never cared?

Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me Your love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Yeah
Yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what's underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?

Chorus

I've been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all along

Chorus (x2)


Give Me Your Eyes, Brandon Heath

Hmmmm, yessssss.

According to Webster.

weary.

exhausted in strength, endurance, vigor, or freshness.

having one's patience, tolerance, or pleasure exhausted.

I'm Not Who I Was

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was


I'm Not Who I Was, Brandon Heath


Hmmmm. Yesssss.

Groanings. Or Gibberish?

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

The passage says the Spirit intercedes for us when we are too weak to know how to pray. He intercedes not because we simply don't pray---but when we don't know how to pray.
Imagine this poignant scene. The child of God musters her last bit of strength to collapse before the throne of God. Words do not come---just groanings. . . The Spirit of God searches her heart, gathers her pain, and lifts it to the Father of all comfort. The Spirit of God, knowing both the depth of her agony and the will of the Father, can bring forth glory from even this. He insists that the Father usher overflowing comfort. He urges the child to let the Father have His way. He prays for things she could not bear to pray---that she lacks the courage to pray. He prays for glory.

(Whispers of Hope, Beth Moore)


There are those things, those dates, those memories that nobody knows about. Or maybe a few people do, or maybe they've forgotten just like I almost forgot---until it hits hard and heavy. Those times when we're not sure how to pray. Those times when we're so excited but so confused. . . and absolutely impatient in every sense. Trust. Wait. Why?!

I'm beginning to see a purpose in the mountain I crashed into earlier this year. The last few months have been an incredible, personal journey of discovery, calling and sparked interests. It's difficult to describe in a few paragraphs what has changed, what visions have changed, how the focus has changed, how the heart of the matter has changed. . . But, life is no longer focused on me and getting my life right. . . These days I am feeling so antsy to be beyond these institutional walls. . . I'm feeling more and more ready to be working, serving, living . . . living Christ's love, living as a citizen of another kingdom.

But the mountain is still there. The wish for a teammate is still there. More evident on some days, like today, than on others. I still don't know how to pray. Praying for God's will, yes. But, also feeling the necessity to pray honestly.

And hoping that there is some type of translation happening to this gibberish running through my mind.

Love Them Like Jesus

The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus,
carry her to Him
His yoke is easy,
His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus

Love Them Like Jesus, Casting Crowns

Citizens of another Kingdom, this should be our aim: to love like Jesus.

Perseverance. Continued.

Sometimes I wish life didn't require perseverance. But, I guess we wouldn't learn, we wouldn't grow, we wouldn't become more Christ-like. It sure can be frustrating, though! This week was a challenging week; it was difficult to remain positive (I failed at that many times). . . for some reason a bitter or negative attitude, one full of complaints, just seems easier than the effort required to be positive.

Anyway, this week an opportunity to encouragement someone came during my clinical experience of observation in the OR and post-op recovery room (or PACU, for you medical professionals). I had the opportunity to watch an emergency surgery which was fascinating, but the circumstances surrounding the surgery were sad. However, I stayed with the patient during post-op, I could hold a hand, listen when the patient wanted to talk, and just be a quiet presence. But, it quickly became evident that the patient was a Christian. The patient was obviously sad and grieving, but the patient still recognized and testified that God is sovereign and uses all of our struggles to minister to others.

Wow. I was blessed and challenged. How the patient could find the strength to be an encouragement to others despite the circumstances was incredible. It also put my troubles into perspective, and reinforced to me the importance of reaching out to others despite our busyness, our struggles, our heartaches. It reminded of the healing that can come from taking the focus off of ourselves and putting the focus back on God, the author of all of our days.

Also, last weekend, one of the Cedarville '08 graduates was killed in a car accident. Obviously a shock to everyone, but in chapel two friends of the student shared that the verses marked by the ribbon in her Bible were Psalm 103: 13-17a

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him...

Alongside the verses, she had written something like "Life is short---live for eternity" (I can't remember the exact words, but it was enough to bring goosebumps and tears!) How minor my troubles seem in comparison to some and, in the midst of it all, God uses every moment to challenge us and encourage us. I am not guaranteed tomorrow or next week or after graduation, so how I am living today that brings glory to God?

Remembering that requries perseverance.

Take a Breath.

Nothing profound. It's just that I'm coming the end of my 7th week here at school, it's already October, clinical rotations are about to change, and fall break is in two weeks.

And there has barely been time for breathing.

'Tis life, I suppose; but somehow this part of life seems wicked fast---and yet I find myself wishing this stage would hurry up and end at the same time? What am I thinking. . . wishing an even faster-paced life on myself?!

There are parts of life I wish were different. Lord, teach me to treasure this time, this moment, this day. . . instead of always looking for that time, that moment, that day. Take these worries, these cares and use them for Your glory. Teach me to take time for You, to set aside time for You. Mold these desires, these deep wants. . . take them and prepare them for Your purposes. . . prepare them to be used as vessels of Your love.

And, while I wait. . .

Enough.

You are enough for me.

When Perseverance Pays Off.

The last several weeks I have been battling some kind of respiratory bug (that's my medically-correct terminology coming out ; ) ). The first two weeks a cold settled into my chest and caused hacking coughs for two weeks. Ugh. Then I had a few days of peace and wellness until---whamo! a sore throat, a sniffles that quickly turned into a head cold. Double ugh. Finally that cold is on it's way out... I'm down to only a few sniffles each day!

But, because life is so demanding, busy, and fast-paced right now I have no option except hang onto the ride for dear life clutching homework in one hand and a tissue box in the other hand. It has been difficult to not be able to take the time to "lay low" and re-energize. Yet, once again, God's faithfulness becomes evident in each day.

I can't do this on my own. It's been one of the biggest realizations this semester. I can do my part, but without God's guidance, strength and forgiveness, I simply will not make it to the end of nursing school. He alone is the solid Rock on which I will push through these next two years.

The last several weeks have been difficult and even discouraging as I realized that the standards I previously put on myself simply wouldn't been attainable this semester. Despite hard work, the results weren't good. But, this week I saw God's hand in so many things: amazing power naps that re-energized me after clinicals; that extra boost of energy to study for several hours despite "working" a full day at clinicals; time management and prioritizing that I didn't know I had in me; feeling like I understood material "inside and out." And He chose to show His power through the great results He enabled me to get this week. It was a welcome encouragement; hey, I can do this after all. It will take work and maybe not match up to my standards of previous years, but that's okay. He's helping me to conquer (and learn!) this information.

I'm learning that perseverance doesn't mean getting the perfect score, the best grade, the highest praise. Perseverance means doing what we can, with what we have, where we are, with a attitude that brings glory to Christ. Too many times I become focused on what I can't do instead of what I can do and how I can do it. Perseverance means being faithful to do our part, while relying on His strength and trusting that He will bring to completion what He has started. He has a reason for me to be here; He has a purpose for me to be spending four years doing this.

Perseverance means giving the glory back to God as He enables us and strengthens us.

Power Outage Perseverance

God provided an extra ounce of refreshment this week, an extra boost to tired spirits and overwhelmed brains. When the power went out last Sunday, we were forced to take a break: no email, no internet, no movies. . . just people and conversations, books and time with Jesus. Actually, this week I only had two days of classes---which was a huge blessing! This coming week I have two huge tests that are looming over my head, so the extra time last week was an added bonus: more time to study and relax.

This week I realized the importance of peace and quiet in the midst of a stressful and daunting semester. I often don't have time to relax for very long because of the never-ending to-do list of this semester. It's not that I'm trying to hide behind my books. . . it's that I almost don't have any other option. Thankfully, studying with other people is essential for learning this type and volume of information, so the social end of things isn't necessarily lacking. Plus, it's been fun to get to know some people I only knew on a first-name-basis before!

Also, because of the lighter schedule this week, I was able to find some time to encourage several friends who needed it. Again, it was through notes of encouragement and assuring them of my prayers. It's easy for me to forget that even though I can't offer someone time, I can still pray for them throughout my day. Often, my mind begins running in overdrive as soon as the alarm clock goes off and I am immediately submerged in all of my own problems, responsibilities and cares. But, this week the Lord gently reminded me of the power of prayer. . . the power of prayer in healing, in encouragement and in strength.

He is always faithful, always lavishing blessings upon us. . . even lavishing power outages to emphasize those blessings! : )

I Want to Be Like You

It's not about me. It's about You.

It's not about us. It's about You reaching them, through us, Your vessels.

Thank You for this change in focus.


I Want to Be Like You, FFH

When I'm down, You are up for me
When I frown, You have a smile for me
And when I'm weak, You are strong for me
You are there for me
You're always there for me

When I fall, You will catch me
When I call, You're quick to answer me
And when I weep, You will weep with me
You are there for me
You're always there for me


(And I want to be like You)
Take my cross and follow after You
(I want to be like You)
Speak the truth in everything I do
(I want to be like You)
Leave the many to go and find the few
(I want to be like You)
I want to be like You


When I thirst, You will quench me
When I hunger, You are the bread for me
When I kneel, you already heard me
You are there for me
You're always there for me

Chorus

When I cried, You were there, You heard my call
When I fell, You were there, You saw it all
On my knees, You came and rescued me
And now in everything I say and do
I want to be just like you

Chorus

Perseverance: Anything Left to Give?

This week has been absolutely draining in so many ways. Constant responsibilities. . . huge demands of time, effort and emotions. . . tasks, test, or projects that seem practically impossible. No end in sight to this constant requirement of energy, during which you're still supposed to have time to "relax and have fun." We are feeling like we are being stretched as thin as possible. It has been difficult to limit the complaining, squelch the bitterness, and let go of the human desire to have to do everything on my own.

I can't do it by myself.

I reached that point late this week. The complete and utter realization that I simply will not survive this semester if I try to do this on my own. I'm going to have to do my part, but recognize God's strength and His control of the outcomes. Although it can be hard for me to remember, He is even in control of tests that may ruin GPAs and make the scholarships disappear, hence meaning even more loans---something that is not cool think about right now. The standards I place on myself will have to flex this semester, possibly this whole year. I'm just going to have to do what I can, and be satisfied with that. And having satisfaction in grades that are lower than what I like to see will require perseverance.

In the midst of this absolute insanity though it's been refreshing to be able to encourage several people. Last Sunday and this week I was able to write several notes to people. It can be difficult to sacrifice some of my time to pour into someone else's life. . . but it is so refreshing too! Trust me, I know that it would be easier to stay focused on my to-do list---I am still trying to catch up on reading, so why in the world would I sacrifice a few moments to minister to someone else? Encouragement, a part of the servant lifestyle that I am still learning about, has an incredible knack for shifting your focus from yourself and your mountain of problems to someone else and their needs. Even if you can't meet their needs immediately (or ever) or tangibly, a bit of encouragement, a little note, a smile can truly brighten a day or give that extra boost that is needed.

We must allow God to use us as vessels of His love. . . even when we ourselves feel like we are barely managing to keep up.

Plodding Along.... is that perseverance?

This past week held an interesting course of events. Throughout the week my mind was also pulled in many different directions. I needed to contact some people before my parents and I could make a decision about my possible trip to Peru and Paraguay next summer. This week I felt like I was juggling too many plates, and trying not to let any of them fall. School is extremely demanding right now, but the debate between an externship and the Peru trip was also a big decision hanging over me. Thankfully, the hard work put into the Pharmacology test paid off and that test is now behind me.

It has still be difficult to find time to look to other people's needs in the midst of my own life's craziness. But, I am trying to make that time---to find that one person that might need a bit of extra encouragement in their week---even though I have things to do. There will always be things to do though, so I can't always say "when I have time..."

However, in the midst of all of the work, I have been trying to diligently use my time to get things (specifically homework) accomplished in adequate time. So far this year, I have been able to get my homework done by Sunday, so that I can truly rest on Sundays. And, that has been wonderful! It takes a lot of commitment throughout the earlier part of the week, and especially on Friday nights and Saturdays when other people are doing things that sound much more fun than books and papers. But, when Sunday rolls around and there is nothing academic on my to-do list, it's an amazing feeling!

In church last Sunday, the message was about loving people out of Christ's love, with a love like His. It reminded me of perseverance because the pastor challenged us that genuine love isn't what it means to love someone who is easy to get along with; genuine love is when we love someone who is difficult to love. He said that the very person we do not want to show love towards is the very person God wants us to love.

That takes perseverance, doesn't it? Intentional love. Just a bonus thought. : )

Finally, an update!! After doing our research and talking to several people, my parents and I decided that I will move forward with plans to go to Peru and Paraguay next summer! I am tremendously excited about the trip, and I am looking forward to seeing God's faithfulness and provision in the next several months as people support me financially----that's a huge prayer request!!

Perseverance. Oh my.

I realized this week that perseverance is required more for this semester than I thought. I realized that I need a high level of perseverance to go to an 8 hour shift of clinical (essentially a work day), come home and complete 6 to 7 hours of homework. It would be so much easier to push all the homework out the window, either figuratively or literally.

...of course, that's until a week later when I'm behind and buried under more reading than I can imagine.

I have enjoyed my classes, especially since each class is so applicable and intertwined at this point. Medications and anatomy talked about in one class are also covered in another class, and applied in clinicals. It's an exciting change from solid lecture. But it also comes with the responsibility to learn and master a lot of information... which can lead to information overload... thus the lack of motivation to sit and study for hours after a full day of classes or clinicals.

Perseverance means continuing to study even when I feel like I can't... perseverance means only taking a 15 or 30 minute nap when I would rather spend 3 afternoon hours in dreamland... perseverance means working ahead even though the syllabus says that reading assignment isn't due for another 2 days... perseverance means limiting an email/Facebook/blog break to 10 minutes instead of a half hour...

So, in hopes of guarding against feeling completely overwhelmed, I will need to work consistently during the entire week, and manage my time wisely on weekends too. I really want to keep Sundays as a day of rest, so I'm hoping that will provide an extra ounce of motivation.

At the same time though I don't want to burn out. So I'm trying to include those things that will provide some relaxation... trying to leave the dorm room door open in case someone needs to talk... trying to be efficient in completing my work so that I can talk or listen to someone on spur-of-the-moment notice without feeling distracted by the need to do homework... trying to manage my time so that I can make time for journaling, Jesus and prayer.

Speaking of prayer... I would appreciate prayer for a decision I will need to make in the near future (i.e. as soon as possible). As if school wasn't enough to think about, I also need to work through my plans for next summer.

I am trying to decide between doing a nursing externship at a local hospital or going to Peru to serve with a missionary family for about a month. In Peru I would probably have the opportunity to spend some time doing medical/nursing missions at a clinic or similar setting. The problem enlies in that the missions trip is in the middle of the summer, and the externship is 8 weeks long---so I can't do both. I'm praying and trying to weigh both options in light of the more distant future. So, I would really appreciate prayers for clarity about where God wants me to serve next summer. Also, I'd appreciate any thoughts or opinions or suggestions any of you have on whether I should go to Peru or stay at home and do the externship.


Thanks for listening. and thanks for your thoughts too; I like reading them! : )

Perseverence in the face of the unknown.

(A little bit of background: each semester Cedarville Nursing students focus on a different character quality listed in 2 Peter 1:5-8. We write a paper and reflect on growth in that particular area of life.)

Perseverance is quite the appropriate character quality to be reflecting on and focusing on this semester. Right now the future (i.e. this next week... I know, short future) seems daunting and overwhelming, like a big 'ol black storm cloud looming overhead. While I think (I hope) a few days of experience in clinical setting will help with affirming expectations and responsibilities I'm caught in a whirl of questions... what will I really be doing? Was working as an aide really that helpful? Are we going to have to do things we don't know yet? and on and on... When I think of the word perseverance, I often associate it with a difficult situation of somekind, or a circumstance requiring an extra ounce of determination.

However, last night I read a devotional by Beth Moore from her book, "Whispers of Hope." She challenges us to consider the stress and distraction we face when we feel like we have to "do it all." Sometimes we are even buried under things that are all "good." But, she reminds us, the most important thing is to focus on a few things, or persevere, and do those few things for the glory of God.

Since hearing the phrase, Soli Deo Gloria, I've always appreciated the reminder: whose glory is my life for? God's and God's alone. Not my reputation, not my transcript, not my resume but God's glory. So, if we are persevering in the things He calls us to, even if it's only a few things or even only one thing, we are glorifying Him. At times I feel like I'm wrapped up in school, with only a few snatches of time to do anything else. But, I need to remember to persevere in school, for that is where Christ has me, for a reason. And while it might seem mediocre, or just fulfilling "requirements," I have to remind myself that persevering in school also glorifies God.

I need to remember to take each week one day at a time. To continue with strong determination and hope, but recognize my need for His strength and mercy each day.


P.S. Here is that devotional... it's just too good to not post! (By Beth Moore)

In two short phrases the apostle Paul practically wrote a thesis on simplification. For every one of us who ever wondered where to draw the line, juggled too many balls at once, or had trouble making up our mind, Paul offers a timely simplification: "Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." We differ in talents, gifts, and resources, but the hands of time strangle us all. We desperately need a time management course--but who can fit it in?

When our beloved Michael was little, he loved to "help" me grocery shop. Once he begged me to buy our dogs a large bag of rawhide bones. His face was so animated that I agreed, but when we arrived home I forgot about the purchase. Michael--always quite a sneak--slipped the bag out without my noticing. Later that day a strange commotion in the backyard seized my attention. Our dog, Sunny, was hopping frantically in every direction, kicking up more grass than a weed eater, and panting as if she were fighting for her last few breaths. When I walked out to investigate, I heard Michael laughing mischievously, and then I saw them--at least a hundred "bones" scattered all over the backyard. Sunny was frenzied. So little time--so many bones!

Don't get be wrong. I'm not "dogging" us for trying. Most of our "bones" are good ones. We've just got too many to chew. In our attempt to do a hundred good things, we may not do any of them well. We're caught in the captivity of activity--hopping frantically in every direction, tongues dragging and lungs panting. We're dog tired.

God never meant for us to live frenzied lives. Backbreaking schedules are not His idea. How can we, believers in Christ, restructure our lives and find a little refreshment?

- Reestablish the goal. Isaiah 43:7 tells us we were created for His glory. The purpose of our brief journey on this planet is to glorify God. He desires for us to pour the best of our energies into God works. Go back to the basics.
- Redirect your focus. Matthew 6:33 makes a revolutionary promise. If we seek God first, He will direct our schedules and help us to discern His priorities through the work of the Holy Spirit. Give the Matthew 6:33 approach a try! It really works!
- Rethink your motivation. Galatians 1:10 prompts us to ask ourselves if any of our activities are seeking man's approval rather than God's. If we seek to please people rather than God, rules will constantly change and expectations will soar.
- Rest in God's will. Hebrews 4:10 says, "Anyone who enters God's rest also rest from his own work."

Sounds wonderful doesn't it? God is not unreasonable. He does not heap on stress and then refuse to grant us rest. None of us can do one hundred things to the glory of God. Let's find rest in His will and do a few things well.

Restructuring.

Lord, right now, I surrender every aspect of my life to You, including all of my relationships. I ask that You help me to restructure my priorities, so they will please and glorify You in every way. When I am tempted to become fearful, depressed, or disappointed, remind me that You are "El Shaddai"--"The God of More Than Enough." I praise You that You are more than enough to meet every single need I'll ever have in this life!

Part of a devotional by J.M. Farro

Stronger Together.

We watched the production of "In the Beginning" at Sight and Sound Theatre a few days ago, and one realization became even more evident throughout the show, especially in Adam and Eve's pre-fall relationship. They were constantly singing and saying how much the other blessed them, complimented them and strengthened them. It was a beautiful picture of how marriage is meant to be, how it is designed to be. Uniting two people who are good apart, but stronger and better together, stronger for the glory of God.

I would really like to be married some day. And more than anything related to a certain status, look, job, background, qualification, or personality trait I desire to married to someone because we are better together. I want to marry someone who I can work with for God's glory. I have so many ideas of how that might look or play out, so it's difficult to surrender. I long for the purpose of that relationship and marriage to be for His glory. It's amazing to imagine the joy of living for His glory and bringing others closer to Him so that He may redeem, heal and move; bringing them closer to Him so that they may, one day, experience the intense and satisfying intimacy of a relationship with the greatest Lover of all time.

Legacy

Learning How to Bend

I'm still learning how to pray
Trying hard not to stray
Try to see things your way
I'm still learning how to pray
I'm still learning how to trust
It's so hard to open up
And I'd do anything for us
I'm still learning how to trust

Chorus:
I'm still learning how to bend
How to let you in
In a world full of tears
We'll conquer all our fears
I'm still learning how to fly
I wanna take you higher
I'll be there till the end
I'll be your lover and your friend
I'm still learning how to bend

I'm just trying to understand
It's all in someone else's hands
There's always been a bigger plan
But I don't need to understand

Chorus:
I'm still learning how to bend
How to let you in
In a world full of tears
We'll conquer all our fears
I'm still learning how to fly
I wanna take you higher
I'll be there till the end
I'll be your lover and your friend
I'm still learning how to bend

I'll be there till the end
I'll be your lover and your friend
I'm still learning how to bend
I'm still learning how to bend
I'll be there till the end
I'm still learning how to bend


Learning How To Bend, Gary Allan

Got humility?

This struck me this morning. A lesson, or rather a song, on humility. . . living like Jesus means learning to be humble.

This week has held several firsts, but yesterday's first was the hardest.

I didn't know what to say, what to talk about. It was easiest to just say hi and leave it at that. I wish I could have been humble enough to admit that, yes this is awkward, but also silly. I wish I would have been humble but not so shy or scared.

I failed at being humble enough to recognize that there is another person involved in this, probably with his own uncertainties and hurts.

There's reasons, there's excuses, but it's time for me to, once again, give this burden to Jesus and let Him hold it and take care of it.

Things will get worked out. I know they will. He is Gracious beyond my awkwardness, Loving beyond my shyness, and Faithful beyond my lack of humility. One day it will make sense; one day it will bring Him glory.

On Learning to Trust Again

An unexpected option and a whirlwind of thoughts. I think it's a good idea; I want to do it, but another part of me wants to just stay inside the walls, keep the distance, not have to worry about it all.

Jesus is going to have to help me to trust again because even this "little step" stretches the trust, the vulnerability that got bruised. I want to be genuine and honest, but that's still scary at times.

I've got to get beyond this. I've got to learn to trust again. I've got take a few risks.

Heartbreak and Jesus.

This is why for thousands of years Christians have found the cross to be so central to life. It speaks to us of God’s suffering, God’s pain, God’s broken heart. It’s God making the first move and then waiting for our response.

If you have ever given yourself to someone and had your heart broken, you know how God feels.
If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels.

If you have ever given yourself to someone and they responded, they reciprocated with love of their own, you know how God feels.

The cross is God’s way of saying, “I know what it’s like.”

The execution stake is the creator of the universe saying, “I know how you feel.”

Our tendency in the midst of suffering is to turn on God. To get angry and bitter and shake our fist at the sky and say, “God, you don’t know what it’s like! You don’t understand! You have no idea what I’m going through. You don’t have a clue how much this hurts.”

The cross is God’s way of taking away all of our accusations, excuses, and arguments.

The cross is God taking on flesh and blood and saying, “Me too.”

This can transform our experience of heartbreak. Instead of being something that can distance us from God, causing us to question, “Where are you?” every poem by a lover spurned, every song sung with an ache, every movie with a gut-wrenching scene, every late-night conversation and empty box of Kleenex are glimpses into the life of God.

Our first need is not for people to fix our problems. People who charge in and have all the answers and try to make things right without first joining us in our pain generally annoy us, or worse yet, they push us away. They have nothing to give us. The God that Jesus points us to isn't a god who stands at a distance, wringing his hands and saying, “If only you’d listened to me.”

This is the God who holds out his hands and asks, “Would you like to see the holes where the nails went? Would that help?”

It’s the place where we find out we’re not alone, where we find strength to go on. Not a strength that comes from within ourselves but a strength that comes from God. The God who keeps going. Who keeps offering. Who keeps loving. Who keeps risking.

A God who knows what it’s like.

The cross is where we present our wounds to God and say, “Here, you take them.”

Our healing begins when we participate in the suffering of God. When we don’t avoid it but enter into it, and in the process enter into the life of God. When we see our pain not as separating us from but connecting us to our maker.

And in this connection, there’s always the chance we’ll find a reason to risk again.

If God can continue to risk, then maybe we can too.

Perhaps you’ve had you heart broken by somebody. You risked and extended and offered yourself, and they rejected and turned away and didn’t return your love.

There is something divine in your suffering.

Somebody divine in your pain.

You know how God feels.

Really good, loving people get hurt. It’s how things are.

Maybe you’re living in the wake of a relationship that fell apart. You have to dig those moments up. The parts that hurt and the awkward conversations and the anger and the failure and the misunderstanding and the betrayal. You have to dig them up and acknowledge them before you are ever going to heal.


Sex God, Rob Bell

An Awkward Stage. And a Good Dose of Honesty.

I must admit that I came home tonight with my mind whirling, but it wasn't whirling as a result of the specific thoughts shared tonight. Instead my mind latched onto one thought and suddenly realized how much I feel caught in the middle of an awkward stage, a sort of identity crisis. As I process my future role in a church body, I am hit with the realization that I will soon be the age of a stereotypical youth leader. You know it: that "fresh out of college, perhaps just married and just enough adult, but still young" age. However, there aren't many in this population... in other words, when it comes time to find people to be leaders for the looming swarm of pre-teen and teens, it could come down to, hmmm, two of us? And, quite frankly, I don't know that I will or wantfeel called to fill such a position. Who knows what I will be doing or exactly what my identity will include at that time. Sure, I don't know exactly what time will bring.

But, I can assure you that I don't think many people have realized the lack of people in this stereotypical "youth leader age group."

Which unfurls the rest of the my tangled thoughts. More and more I find myself caught in an awkward stage, a sort of dance between childhood and adulthood. I consider myself an adult (thank you) yet have still been labeled as a child at times. However, this is the least of my worries. Due to this stage of life, connections are seasonal at best. I mean, school, then home, then school, then home...

Take a good look at the life of the young adult group and you will find it lacking. Two people only home for 1/4 of the year. I speak for 50% of that population when I say that the young adult group is certainly not what keeps me here.

So, how do we "fix" the problem? I'm not saying we can fix this specific issue... you can't create more young adults. And, how do you create a connection for a group that is absent for 3/4 of the year?

But, why aren't we attracting young adults?

It's probably a vicious cycle. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate the connections that are made in the short months. But, one thing is certain: I'm not the pre-teen or teen with handfuls of buddies, and I'm not married with a kid on my hip. Sort of lost in the shuffle. I'm not a member of the masses in need of a youth pastor; neither am I a mom in need of time away or parenting advice. But, I'm in school, I'm working through heartbreak, I'm feeling young, I'm working through grief, I'm raising questions, I'm building dreams, I'm working, I'm tired, I'm worried about finances, I'm excited about life.

I've dipped my toes in other young adult groups, and I've seen the "green, thriving grass on the other side of the fence." I've seen the blend of people, identities.

It was a short taste. But I miss it. I miss becoming a part of that support group, I miss having that support group to fall back on and learn from. (Don't get me wrong, parents are a wonderful support! But, the age group that I looked forward to being a part of is suddenly not here. Not really anyone's fault... But I think it's a fact that most people don't see and you just might want to consider the future implications of this dwindling age group.



When they're looking for a youth leader and my age/identity makes me a prime suspect, will I be around? Or, will I be out looking for my peers, looking for a connection with them?



Blame it on the time of day, my tired mind, or the disillusionment of a college student. But, something's missing.

Fresh Hope

FRESH HOPE

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:3-5 NKJV

If you've ever spent time reading and meditating on the beautiful verses of Psalm 37, then you know how encouraging and inspiring they are. When I was dealing with some painful circumstances recently, the Lord led me to this psalm, and He gave me some fresh insights that lifted my heart and filled me with fresh hope. I'd like to share some of these insights with you here today, in the hope that you, too, may be encouraged.

Psalm 37:3 (NKJV) says: "Trust in the Lord, and do good." Why does the Lord so often tell us to trust Him? Because He knows that if we don't stand firm in our faith, the devil and his cohorts will be able to rob us of the victories and blessings that He has in store for us. God longs to empower us to live above our circumstances in difficult times, but He requires our cooperation. We cooperate with Him by making a quality decision to trust Him, and to resist all fear and doubt. Another way we can cooperate with His plan for our victory is to "do good," as this verse says. When we are going through a trial, the devil would like nothing better than to see us "stuck" in our problems. He doesn't want us to move forward, but to keep our focus on our problems and ourselves. God's antidote to that faulty strategy is to reach out to others, knowing that as we do, we will be energized and revived in ways that will keep us moving along the path of victory the Lord has mapped out for us. The second half of this verse tells us to "feed on His faithfulness." God showed me that when I'm in a difficult place and I'm tempted to despair, I need to feed on His promises. Whether we need healing, finances, the restoration of a relationship, or anything else, there are scriptural promises that we can pray and stand on, trusting Him to be faithful to His Word. As one wise man has rightly said, "God's promises will give you hope in hopeless situations."

The next verse in Psalm 37 says: "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4 NKJV) How do we delight ourselves in the Lord? We give HIM the desires of HIS heart. Every day--in big ways and small--we put God first. We seek His will in everything, and we do our best--with His help--to follow His lead. If we focus on our own desires, they will continually elude us. But if we focus on God's desires, we will find our own desires chasing us down and overtaking us. I often like to pray, "Lord, remove from me every dream and desire that is not from You, and plant deeply in my heart those that You have ordained for me." I don't want to waste one moment of my life wishing for something that isn't God's best for me.

Psalm 37:5 (NKJV) says: "Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." In all our "ways," God has a part to play, and so do we. God won't do our part. And He won't let us do His part. As we work in partnership with the Lord to bring His perfect will to pass in our lives, we will witness His perfect plans unfolding before our very eyes. Every time we encounter a need or a problem, God already has a custom-made solution prepared for us. It doesn't matter how many obstacles seem to be in the way, if we will let God be God in our situation, He will make a way where there seems to be none. The Lord wants to fill you with fresh hope for your life and circumstances today. Call upon him now, and ask Him to reveal Himself to you in healing, comforting, and uplifting ways!

Lord, in times of trial and trouble, help me to take my stand in faith, and to do good to others. Teach me how to delight in You and Your Word, and to claim Your promises of victory. Thank You that as I commit everything to You, You will fulfill Your perfect purposes for me!


(Devotional written by J.M. Farro)

Just Resting.

I know I posted this devotional several months ago, but as I read through my journal yesterday it stood out to me again. As I have always said, in this part of life it's all a process... the heartache, the memories, but now, some joy. Not for any particular reason; I'm not kidding: nothing extraordinary has happened. But, for a few days now I have found myself, "resting, resting, in the joy of what Thou art; finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart." And, this devotional gives particular encouragement in the hope that these experiences, this array of genuine emotion, will someday help another young woman. And, as always, may Jesus use the broken pieces, but leave the scars to be a testimony of His faithfulness, glory and grace.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The son found himself in a barren place.

His Father said, "In this place I will give you the peace you are longing for. Here I will give you spiritual food that will nourish you. You are always with Me---no

Then the Father, with great gentleness dres the son to Himself. Quietly he said, "I am the one who allowed you to come into these humbling circumstances and who allowed you to hunger. I did this so that I might feed you with manna---My bread from heaven.

"Only in this way could I help you to know that you cannot live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from My mouth."

. . . Later still, the son wondered why one like himself, who was so richly fed and cared for at times, should at other times feel so poor and needy and thirsty.
His Father replied by asking four questions:

"Can someone who has never thirsted know how precious is My living water?

"Can someone who has never discovered rivers of these living waters flowing on barren heights---can he ever lead his thirsty friend to those rivers?

"Can someone who has never walked the deep valleys of the spirit help a friend who is fainting---or lead this friend to the well-springs that will save the life of his soul?

"Can someone who has never seen burning sands in the wilderness turn into a refreshing pool---can he speak in praise of My marvels, or My power?


I Come Quietly to Meet You, Amy Carmichael

I Have to Believe

I have to believe
That He sees my darkness
I have to believe
He knows my pain
I have to lift up
My hands to worship
Worship His name

I have to declare
That He is my refuge
I have to deny
That I am alone
I have to lift up
My eyes to the mountain
It's where my help comes from

Oh yeah
He said that He's forever faithful
He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains
He can move my mountain
He can move your mountain, too

Oh, I have to stand tall
When the wind blows me over
I have to stand strong
When I'm weak and afraid
I have to grab hold
Ahold of the garments
The garments of praise

I know, I know, I know
Cause He said that He's forever faithful
And He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains
He can move my mountain
He can move your mountain, too

I have to sing praise
When the hour is midnight
He unlocks these chains
That bind up my soul
My sin and my shame
He has forgiven and made me whole

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Cause He said that He's forever faithful
And He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
He said that He can move mountains
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains
He can move my mountain
He can move your mountain, too

I have to believe
I have to believe
He's got everything under control
I have to believe
Lord, I believe
Help my unbelief
I have to believe in You
I have to believe


I Have to Believe, Rita Springer

Part of the Journey

There are those moments when the memories come flooding back, or something seemingly insiginificant reminds me of an inside joke or delight. It is at those times too that the questions flood my mind . . . Like I wrote in my last few posts, trust is a constant journey for me, especially in these days. It's an unending battle to keep from hiding my heart, to keep from protecting it at all costs. You will need to be patient with me, I need time to learn to trust again. I'm just learning to trust that it's okay. Learning to trust that it's okay that I still care for you, that it's okay if I can't show that, that it's okay to have questions.

I want to rest, I want to trust . . . I want these words to be the words of my heart.


Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power,
Thou hast made me whole.

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart

O, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O, how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Belovèd,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings:
Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift Thy face upon me
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ’neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory,
Sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
Fill me with Thy grace.

Jesus I am Resting, Resting, recorded by FFH

Blessed Be the Name of the Lord

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When I can say blessed be the name of the Lord,
when I can trust the Lord's provision,
when I can bless the other person

in spite of my disappointment,
in spite of my questions,
in spite of my worry,

through the chaos,
through the calm,

as I learn to trust beyond my circumstances
as I discover what it means to be broken and remolded
as He uses the broken pieces, leaving the signs of His faithfulness

may it all be a testimony to His grace
may it all be for His glory.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

my hands hold safely to my dreams
clutching tightly not one has fallen
so many years have shaped each one
reflecting my heart, showing who I am
now You're asking me to show
what I'm holding oh so tightly
can't open my hands, can't let go
does it matter?
should I show You?
can't You let me go?

surrender, surrender
You whisper, gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't You see
my dreams are me

You say You have a plan for me
and that You want the best for my life
told me the world had yet to see
what You can do with one that's committed to Your call
I know of course what I should do
that I can't hold these dreams forever
if I give them now to You
will You take them away forever
or can I dream again?


Surrender, Barlow Girl

Transparency

As this school year quickly comes to an end, I find myself overwhelmed by so many things, so many thoughts. Not only are finals looming ahead . . . worms, wheezes and weird diseases . . . Esther, Nahum, Jeremiah . . . the raptures's impact on our worldview, the structure of the church . . . correlation, standard deviation and z-scores . . . But, I often realize I am also stuck in a whirldwind, stuck on a roller coaster. Emotions that I want to stuff inside, yet pull out and shake off. Emotions that make me feel all mixed up inside about the idea of coming home. . . I miss so many people: my family and friends; I long for coffee chats with friends, and catch-up sessions with those I haven't seen in months. I want to talk with someone who has been where I have been, someone who is where I am now. I have several ideas for this summer . . . working some more on putting together an album of recipes from my family . . . probably working random jobs in order to make enough money . . . reading books . . .

Yet, I also am aware of the stark absence of one person. At times I wonder how I will ever find enough things to do. It's so much easier out here, where life never included him. I don't always have to deal with it out here. But, at home, I fear a completely different story . . .

A mix of homesickness, the roller coaster of loss and heartache, I'm all a-jumble inside. I'm wishing I could do things that I can't and go places that I can't, out of respect and sensitivity to the situation. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so cautious about protecting the other person.

I wish you would know that I am not as strong as you think I am. No, I haven't been crushed; I am continuing on, remembering that God walked with me into this season for a reason . . . and He continues to walk with me. I'm still me, but I try to hide the tears, the fears. I lost my best friend, one of my biggest supporters, one of my biggest encouragements. It still hurts; to be honest, I haven't had time to process all of my thoughts, which has been nice in some ways, but now I fear those moments. Sometimes I just want to put my heart in a box and lock it and stuff it under my bed. I have so many questions, questions that require one thing that I despise: patience.

I want you to know that this post is not a picture of a 24/7 Mopey; but, I think we often stuff things inside, refusing to reveal our true feelings because we want to look like we have it all together. But I want to be transparent. Do you remember when I said I want to be more genuine? Well, I'm trying. I want you to know that I'm not always as strong as you said I was.

I can't wait to look back some day and see the purpose, to see how God is glorified in this process. He is faithful and He is my Jehovah Jireh . . . the provider of everything I need to live a life that brings glory to His name.

None But Jesus

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore


None But Jesus, Hillsong United

Just honesty, is all.

I'm tired of this roller coaster; I want to get off. Life is so busy that I have little time for processing, little time to let the emotions out that threaten to boil over.


Adonai
I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You are maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh my Adonai


Adonai, Avalon

I Need You

My heart is restless in me
My wings are all worn out
I'm walking in the wilderness
And I cannot get out
I need You, Oh, I need You
Blessed Savior come
I need You, Oh, I need You
You're the every longing of my soul

Oh, how I need You, Lord
I need Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The sin that I afford
I need to weep and pray
For all the thousand ways
That I have failed You just today

My bed is soaked with sadness
My sadness has no end
A downward spiral of despair
And I keep falling in
I need You, Oh, I need You
To You my soul shall fly
I need You, Oh, I need You
Yahweh, how I love You more than life

Oh, how I need You, Lord
I need Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The sin that I afford
I need to weep and pray
For all the thousand ways
That I have failed You just today

Your silence is like death to me
So won't You hear my desperate plea

Today my soul is soaring
Way over mountains high
Though I can see the valleys,
They're all just passing by
It's not that I am stronger
Look at my feeble wings
But I've been lifted higher
Yahweh's lifted me in His own strength

Oh, how I love You, Lord
I love Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The God who always will endure
Now I will celebrate
For all the thousand ways
That You have shown me grace
And made my heart in grace to stay
You've made my heart in grace to stay
You've made my heart in grace to stay



I Need You, Josh Bales

This song was recorded by The Swift, but it was originally written by Josh Bales. Josh is an talented, amazing worship leader and we had the privilege of worshiping with him in chapel yesterday and today (two years in a row; loved both years!). If you haven't heard of him, check him out . . . And make this the first song that you listen to! : ) Check out Josh on Free Napster: http://free.napster.com/view/artist/index.html?id=12294308

In My Boat

This evening held several revelations---

Encouragement is something near and dear to my heart. It's something that I thrive on---I love others by giving it and I survive by receiving it. Whether it be nature, nurture, or supernatural (I vote the latter), encouragement is part of who I am. Granted, there are days that I don't succeed . . . I'm just as human as you. But, I find incredible joy in knowing that a word may bless another, brighten a day, or provide a refreshing boost. I've been challenged recently by the struggle of wanting to encourage someone, but not being able to do so for various reasons. As I chatted with a friend tonight, I suddenly realized that while I miss the opportunity to support that person in their challenging journey, I should be pouring that encouragement into other people. God designed the Body for a reason, so that each person can minister and be ministered to. There is a reason for this season, for this place, for these people; I just need to be a willing vessel.

And, how nice it is to realize that a dear friend is in the same boat as you . . . What an encouragement to know that someone else knows the feelings, the thoughts, the questions. Yes, details of the circumstances may be different, but the essence, the need for patience is the same. (As is our strong dislike of the word, patience!) At a time when most people can't relate, it is a refreshing blessing to chat with someone who can challenge you, encourage you, and walk with you . . . and that you can do the same for them.

Hope

In the name of the Father
In the name of the Son
in the name of the Spirit
Lord we come

We're gathered together
to lift up Your name
to call on our Savior
to fall on Your grace

Hear the joyful sound
of our offering
as Your saints bow down
as Your people sing
we will rise with You
lifted on Your wings
and the world will see that

Our God saves
Our God saves
there is hope
in Your name

Mourning turns
to songs of praise
Our God saves
Our God saves

Hear the joyful of our offering
As Your saints bow down
As Your people sing
We will rise with You
Lifted on Your wings
And the world will see that
Yes, the world will see that . . .

(Our God Saves, Paul Baloche)

I want to be a testimony of that hope. In the midst of being honest, I hope that my posts don't make me sound like a helpless, hopeless, woe-is-me soul.

No, mourning turns to songs of praise because our God saves!

Even the Broken Pieces

What to write? Life is a fast-paced jumble right now! I can hardly believe that I just returned to the wilderness, er, midwest to finish my last 6 weeks of school! At that point, I will be half-way through my bachelor's degree, and two years closer to the reality of life after school . . . which is a scary yet exciting thought at the same time. : )

It goes without saying that life has been challenging. I know that the challenges in life are meant to bring us to Christlikeness . . . so we should be appreciative of them. I know that difficulties stretch us, grow us, mold us. Yet, I wish it wasn't so painful; I wish it wasn't so hard; or at least I wish the journey was shorter! But, since that isn't possible . . . honesty is the best policy.

After deep loss, experiencing the bumps along the way, the painful moments, the days that my heart and mind work through a wide array of emotions . . . hurt, disappointment, peace, sadness, doubt, grief, contentment, abandonment, apathy, emptiness, determination. I know there will be more bumps to come; they always show up at the most random times, and always when I think I am doing "fine." I continue on this journey, hoping, trusting that this too will bring God glory.

And, through it all, praying and trusting that the Potter is molding and using this Lady in Waiting in His timing, through His way, and for His glory. And even when the pottery crumbles or breaks, the Potter will gently continue to mold, using the broken pieces but leaving the signs of brokeness to be a testimony to His faithfulness, grace and strength.